Fun With Steve and Bucky
by AnuhdahPerson
Summary: Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes have been kicked out of Avengers Tower and are now living together in a little two story house. Little do they realize just how much it will influence their relationship. Some Stucky but not extreme. Rated T for my crude jokes and the Stucky parts.
1. Intro

_**Fanfiction request from marvel. reactions! Like always, the first chapter is kind of short but the story needed to be started somewhere. XD**_

 _ **This is going to be updated side by side with my other fanfic request; Circles of Confusing Love (Star Wars fanfiction)!**_

 _ **I don't own Marvel or any partnership with them.**_

* * *

It's not easy living with someone. There were arguments on who's stuff goes where and bickering over decoration placement. Then there would be flying weapons, airborne fists, soaring feet, and a few bullets. And that's how Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes ended up in a little two story building far, far away from anyone.

The fight started when Steve tried to make a 21st century joke similar to what Tony usually did. Instead he insulted Bucky (somehow). Bucky punched him and yelled some cuss words, which Steve scolded at him for saying those. Within seconds a humongous fight broke out between them. When Bucky pulled out his shotgun and shot at Steve's shield, Tony Stark and his best friend Rhody suited up and separated the two.

"This is _**MY**_ tower!" Screeched Tony. "Don't you dare destroy it!"

"Man, we should put them in a little house waaaayy from anyone!" Exclaimed Rhody.

And that's how Bucky and Steve ended up in the two story house. Things worked out, for the most part. Bucky didn't try and destroy New York City, Steve didn't crack any more Tony jokes and Tony was happy. Now the Avengers Tower was in peace.

Right now Steve was sitting on the couch and playing with the remote. He wondered why a simple box (TV) could have so many things for buttons to control. Better yet, how did they control the TV? The remote wasn't plugged in.

Suddenly Bucky hurdled the couch, grabbed the remote, and plopped down right next to Steve. He flipped it on and changed the channel to some movie.

"Bucky!" Whined Steve. "I was using that!"

"You were staring at it, freaking out that something might explode if you hit the wrong button. You're like and old grandma! And no, I wanna watch this movie."

Steve looked up at the movie. It was called _Captain America: The Winter Soldier._ "Didn't you cry at this the last time you watched it?" Asked Steve.

"Shut up!" Bucky snapped defensively. "And yes I did. But who cares! This company Marvel did such an awesome job!"

Steve rolled his eyes. But having nothing better to do he settled in and watched the movie.

At the end Bucky was crying. Steve was emotionless. Which was odd. Usually it was the other way around.

"How do you not have the feels!?" Wailed Bucky.

"The what?" Steve still needed to work on his 21st century slang.

"How are you not crying!?"

Steve shrugged. "No idea. But it was all about you even though I'm the main character. And you had everything happen to you. I just want to know. How come we don't have all our abilities? Shouldn't a movie show everything we can do? Or did they really want to establish that bromance between you and me?"

Not it was Bucky's turn to raise an eyebrow. "Bromance?"

"Get with the times, Buck."

Bucky huffed. "Like you are so with it! You know what? Go back to trying to destroy the TV with the remote!" He shot the remote at Steve and stomped off.

Steve frowned. "Someone's mad." He went back to working with the remote.

As he did, he thought about what he had just said. Bromance. That was really weird. He and Bucky didn't have a close relationship, did they? No! They were just friends! Movies in these days were really weird.

Finally he gave up on the remote. Frustrated, Steve dropped the remote and manually turned off the TV. He went into the kitchen. Bucky once told him food is the cure to everything and Steve had never tried that. Now was the perfect time.

He grabbed a cheese stick and bit into it. That's when Bucky came in. Bucky stared at Steve in an odd way. "What?" Asked Steve.

"Who bites their cheese stick?"

"There's another way to eat it?"

Bucky face palmed. "You PEEL it!"

Steve studied the stick. Peel it? "But it's not a banana!"

Bucky growled. He reached into the fridge and found a cheese stick of his own. Then he peeled it. "See?"

"That's gross."

"You don't have a life." And Bucky left again, peeling his cheese.

Steve shook his head. What was he going to do with his friend? He left, still biting his cheese like a normal person (or un-normal from Bucky's point of view).

* * *

 ** _Review, correct me, tell me how I'm doing, criticize, and all the rest of the stuff you can do._**


	2. Fishing Spree

_**I don't own Marvel or any partnership with them.**_

* * *

 **II. Fishing Spree**

Steve wanted to try fishing. He had done it once before when he was younger and before his Captain America years. But a giant fish grabbed his line and Steve had been yanked into the freezing water. He ended up getting sick because of how skinny he used to be.

He decided to ask Bucky. First he had to find the guy. Steve searched around the two story house, first on the second floor then on the first.

Just before he got into the kitchen Steve heard a loud BANG! "Oh no," he said, running to the source of the sound. "I thought I took Bucky's guns away!"

When he got in there the kitchen was piled with popcorn. Steve stood at the door with his jaw hanging. Suddenly Bucky's head popped out from the middle of the popcorn piles. "Well that didn't go as planned."

"Bucky!" Steve cried. "It's nine in the morning! What the heck are you doing making popcorn!?"

"Was gonna string some together. Heard it makes people more festive."

Steve face palmed. "Stringed popcorn goes on Christmas Trees and it's January! You should be more worried about Valentine's Day!"

"Valiant what?" Steve explained the whole concept of Valentine's Day. "I thought that was May Day."

"Well times have changed!"

"By a century." Bucky seized some a popcorn and threw it in the air. He caught it with his mouth. Then he began choking.

Steve's eyes widened. "Bucky? You okay?"

"ACK! HACK! WHEEZE! CHOKE!" Steve yanked Bucky out of the popcorn pile and roughly squeezed Bucky under the ribs. The little popcorn piece flew out.

Bucky grinned and started humming as though nothing had gone wrong. "You could have died!" Screeched Steve.

"But I didn't. And now I have to eat all this popcorn."

"You're not eating, what, ten pounds of popcorn!"

"Correction: forty pounds. Got a deal in Costco. Yes, Steve, I shop at Costco. And you're right. I won't be able to eat all this. Hmmm." Bucky suddenly grinned his happy grin and grabbed the old rotary phone. He forgot the speaker was attached the base and the base fell off the counter, breaking into millions of little pieces. "This is why I like iPhones much better, Steve!" He yanked out iPhone 6 in his pocket and tried to dial. "Stupid metal hand." He swapped it to his other hand.

Eventually Bucky got his way. The phone began ringing and Bucky are popcorn as he waited. "Hello?" Said the phone.

"HELlo frOM the oTHEr SidE!" Bucky sang. Steve didn't get it. First of all, Bucky had a horrible voice, second, why would he start singing over the phone? Bucky was so weird sometimes. "Yo, Tony. Send Thor and Hulk over. I need some help. Don't ask why."

"Ookkkaaayy," said Tony skeptically. He hung up.

While they waited Steve said "I was thinking of going fishing. Wanna come?"

"Yeah sure!" Bucky collected a huge bag of popcorn for himself and hid it upstairs.

Suddenly Hulk and Thor smashed through the window. "Hi guys!" Said Bucky. "Help me eat this popcorn."

"Ooh, popcorn!" Said Hulk.

"Hooray! A feast of yellow and white corn fluffed up!" Cheered Thor.

In five bites each, Thor and Hulk ate it all. Steve stared, jaw dropped. "That's all!" Said Bucky. So Thor and Hulk left.

The minute they were gone Steve growled. "Bucky, you're the one fixing the window."

"No problemo, Captain Americo. Now let's go fishing!"

Steve lead Bucky to a little reservoir that was only a mile walk from their home. There they set up on the dock and cast their lines in.

"So now what?" Asked Bucky.

"We wait."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Nope!" Steve said. "Isn't it great outdoors? We should do more outside!"

Bucky didn't respond. So Steve went on droning about the joy of outdoors. Bucky plugged his ears but even then he could still hear Steve. He half closed his eyes. This was not how he wanted to spend his day. Listening to Steve ramble on while standing and waiting for something to catch his line.

Then Steve's line went taut. He reeled it in. It was a tiny little fish. Steve released the fish and Bucky's eyes widened. "Why'd ya let it go?"

"It deserves to be free. Besides I'm a vegetarian."

"Riiiigggghhhtt…" Bucky scowled.

Suddenly he pushed Steve in. The super soldier yelped and disappeared under the water. He came back up thrashing around. "Dammit Bucky!"

"Language!" Bucky sang.

"Shut up! Help me out!"

Bucky laughed. "This is more entertainment than waiting for some dumb fish!"

Angrily Steve hauled his body out of the water just high enough so he could grab Bucky's leg. Bucky screeched as Steve pulled him in. He too popped up gasping. "Dude! My arm is going to rust!"

"No it's not. Because you saved me from water," pointed out Steve.

Bucky scowled. Suddenly a giant fish breeched behind him and Bucky was swallowed. "Oh shoot. This lake has Human Eating Fish!" Cried Steve. He scrambled out of the water and stared down. "How am I going to get Bucky?"

Steve thought for a moment. Suddenly a lightbulb went off. He grabbed a fishing line, rigged the hook and cast it in. Steve didn't have to wait long. The giant magnet on the hook found Bucky's arm and the fish. Then Steve reeled them in.

He beached (ahem-docked) the fish. It was three times as long as him! The fish was dead almost the instant its body was out of the water. So Steve jumped on the middle of the fish. Bucky flew out of its mouth.

"NOW is fishing boring?" Teased Steve.

Bucky began sputtering. "Ehhcchh! That thing had dead fish in its mouth!"

"It probably had to eat."

Bucky flung his arms around. "Yeach! The stomach mucus is gross! That's it! I've had enough of fishing!"

"Fine." Steve began picking up. "Stop being so girly, Jonah."

Bucky's eyes snapped wide open. Then he narrowed them and growled. He leapt forwards and knocked Steve into the water. Steve yanked him in too and they began a huge fist fight, which was only stopped when both of them were swallowed by another giant fish.

* * *

 _ **May Day was a very popular holiday where the girls would go inside early so the boys could ring doorbells and run away, leaving a bouquet of flowers at the doorstep.**_

 _ **Jonah is a guy from the Bible that was swallowed by a fish.**_

 _ **Reveiw and all that stuff!**_


	3. The Ultimate Sharing

_**So yeah. Another chapter. Whoopie... JK I'm happy as a lark. Just need to work on the next one!**_

 _ **I don't own Marvel or any partnership with them.**_

* * *

 **III. The Ultimate Sharing**

Steve could not find Bucky the following. He wasn't sure if he should be freaking out or chilling. He decided the first was was better.

When Bucky came back Steve was about to scold him. Then he noticed Bucky had bought a window pane and was starting to fix the window.

 **POW!** Steve yelped as something whizzed by his leg. "Sorry," called Bucky.

"What the noodle was that for?!" Snapped Steve. Instead of answering Bucky burst out laughing, dropping the nail gun. "Bucky! That wasn't funny! You could have killed me! And who gave you a nail gun?"

"Noodle!" Wheezed Bucky. "You said noodle!"

Steve rolled his eyes. "Maybe we should put something up behind the window so that doesn't happen again."

Bucky sighed. "See if there's an old mattress somewhere."

"Okay." Steve went upstairs. He searched through every room until he found one in a dark room. It still had some covers on it, but they were messy and partially off the bed. Steve stripped the mattress and carried it down to Bucky.

The two set it up then Bucky went back to fixing the window. Just like Steve predicted the nails stuck fast into the mattress and no one was hurt.

After Bucky finished he cleaned up while Steve made his own dinner. Bucky hated having dinner without any meat and Steve didn't eat meat. So they decided to make their own dinners.

During dinner Steve and Bucky didn't talk. Steve read the newspaper while Bucky read the news off some iPad he managed to get his hands on (Steve was pretty sure Bucky stole it from someone but Bucky kept denying that).

They did their usual after dinner chores, argued over the TV and in the end they watched a rerun of Girls (which had been somehow taped on their TV (and it was probably Bucky since Steve was clueless when it came to remote skills)).

Finally both decided to go to bed. They got ready and parted halfway down the hall. Then…

 _ **"STEEEEEVVVEEEE!"**_

"What?" Called Steve.

"Did you take my mattress?"

Steve was dumbstruck. He followed Bucky's voice down the hall and…oh shoot. This was the same room he had taken the mattress from. "Ummm…yeeeaaahh," Steve said slowly.

Bucky looked like he was going to blow up. "Not cool man! Now I get to sleep in you bed for tonight!"

"What?! No!" Cried Steve. "Why can't you just use yours?"

"It's full of goddamn nails!"

"Langu-"

"SHUT UP! How the hell did you not know this was my room!?"

"I didn't know you had tree doors leading to this room! And you never let me see inside!"

Bucky scowled. "That's it. I'm officially calling your room mine until you get me another mattress." He headed out the door.

Steve reached over and grabbed Bucky's robotic arm. "Can't you sleep on the floor!?"

"Dude! I slept on a concrete slab the whole time you were hibernating! So hell no!" Bucky slapped Steve away and ran down the hall. Steve chased him, trying to get ahead of his friend.

Bucky got there first. He based open the door and leapt onto the bed. Steve thundered in and knocked Bucky off. "My bed!"

The Winter Soldier kicked Steve out. They began another fight for the evening.

Finally both had exhausted each other. Bucky was laying across the bed at the foot and Steve was laying diagonally, his ankles just barely missing Bucky's head. "Can we just call it a tie and sleep together?" Asked Bucky.

"Are you kidding me?!" Gasped Steve. "That's ridiculous!"

"Maybe. But at least we won't stay up past-oh wait too late. It's 12:16 AM."

Steve thought about it. "Fine. But let's just keep this between you and me."

"I was just going to say the same." Steve and Bucky managed to squeeze in the bed together. Bucky was asleep within minutes. Steve took almost an hour before his body relaxed enough.

Their night was horrible. Steve had a tendency to kick in his sleep and Bucky rolled around a lot. They kept waking each other.

At one point Steve kicked Bucky so hard he flung the Soldier out of the bed. Bucky crashed in the ground and somehow Steve didn't wake up to it. Bucky scowled and got up and went down to sleep on the couch. It was then he wondered why he had made such a big deal about sleeping in a bed.

His question was answer when he fell asleep. He rolled right off. Cursing Bucky resolved to sleeping on the floor.

* * *

 _ **Short chapter, I know. Well, review, criticize, suggest, whatever!**_


	4. Job interview!

_**Ready for some more craziness? Better 'Buck'le up because there's a crazy story line coming up!**_

* * *

 **IV. Job Interview!**

When Steve found Bucky snoring on the floor he began wondering what had happened last night. Steve was pretty sure Bucky had gone bed last night. Shrugging he went off to pour himself cereal.

As he ate his CheeriSkulls Steve wondered what kind of shenanigan he and Bucky could do today. But first he had to go buy a mattress. Which meant he would probably come back to find something had exploded and then it had to be rebought and…you know what they should do today? Find jobs. Because they couldn't just keep using the credit card Tony gave to Steve and use Tony's money how they pleased. Steve thought it was a brilliant idea!

Bucky didn't. "Do you know how hard it will be for me to get a job?" He snapped after Steve woke him up to tell him. "No one except you is going to forget what I did as the Winter Soldier easily. Hell, I'll bet some people still think of me as 100% Winty Soldier!"

"Just try!" Pleaded Steve. "See if someone needs some help and you might the job. I mean, what are you good at?"

Bucky thought for a second. "Shooting and hitting targets."

"Something else."

"Knife skills."

"Keep going."

"Diffusing and fusing bombs."

Steve smacked his face. This was going to be a lot harder than he thought.

* * *

While Steve went to buy the mattress Bucky looked for jobs. He ran into Scott Lang who was taking his ant farm for a walk.

"Hi Bucky!"

"Sup."

"Taking my ants for a walk."

"No you're not. You're walking around with an ant infested case."

"Did you just insult my ants?"

"Errr…"

"And I thought Tony told you not to come into the city unless you needed food or other supplies."

Bucky remembered that. Tony had yelled at him and Steve at the top of his lungs telling them to never come back to the city with a few exceptions. "Well Steve and I want jobs."

Scott smiled. "Cool!"

"But I don't think I'll find something because everyone will think of me as the Winter Soldier."

"Baskin' Robbins©."

"What?"

Scott went off on a rant about him working at Baskin' Robbins©. He didn't realize it but Bucky got bored and left him there.

Bucky saw a sign with advertisements for jobs. There were so many ads the bulletin board couldn't even be seen. He flipped through the ads looking for something.

One job caught his eye. "Need technicians for developing hydraulic military units." Well he was good at that. Bucky grabbed the iPhone and beeped up the number.

"High Extreme Interactions Legion of HYDRAulics how may I help you?" Drawled a voice on the other side.

"I see your ad for the wanted technicians," said Bucky. "And I want to apply for the job." To be honest Bucky didn't know a lot about hydraulics. He just figured he'd find out as he went along.

"Stop by at the main office," said the person. They gave Bucky the address. Bucky skipped off down the sidewalk, whistling.

* * *

Steve was at the mattress store doing absolutely nothing. No, actually he was complaining about why mattresses were so damn expensive. "I'm not paying four hundred for a stupid mattress!"

"Can I interest you in something else then?" Asked the Mattress Firm© manager. He had been following Steve around for the past hour, trying to help him.

"And this one cost twenty one hundred?! What kind of rip off are you doing?!"

"Well this is the Tem-"

"Who the Norse God would by a mattress for so much money?!"

The guy was put off. "It's for a good quality-"

"I could make a mattress for under a hundred buckys!"

"Don't you mean bucks?"

"That's what I said."

Steve went on ranting. "Just ridicules prices! I say you tell your manager to reconsider the pricing on these things." He snapped the last string on the helper.

"Well what year do you think it is? 1940 where everything cost ten cents!? You know what? If your so dissatisfied why don't you talk to the actual manager?"

"Capital idea!" Steve shot back.

Five minutes later Steve was kicked out of the store and told to never return. "Sheesh!" Growled Steve. "People these days are so sensitive!"

He walked down the street searching for another place to buy mattresses. Bucky was goning to be exploding if Steve didn't get one by tonight.

Suddenly Steve got a com link call (yes, he and Bucky each had com links (it was Steve's idea)). "Yo Steve. I'm in a bit of a tussle. So yeah, help." Then Bucky shut off his end.

"I WILL SAVE YOU, BUCKY!" Screeched Steve. Somehow he managed to track the com call and headed to the exact same building Bucky was at.

* * *

Bucky went to the building to apply for the job. It was a giant building and kind of spooky (unless you weren't scared of the pitch black dark). "Quite the building," he said and entered.

A woman was sitting at a desk. "Are you the person that called for the job?"

"Yep!" Said Bucky brightly.

"Wait a minute. You're the winter soldier!"

"Well I've reformed, okay?"

"ALL SECURITY! THE WINTER SOLDIER IS AT THE FRONT DESK!" Before Bucky could even move a net swooped down and trapped him against the ceiling.

A laugh came from below. "What a catch! That's better than any grand prize fish, if I do say so myself!" Red Skull wandered out of the darkness dramatically clapping his hands.

"Hi Red Skull," said Bucky. "Should I compliment you on your idea of catching me or how much redder your skull is?"

Red Skull growled. "Thank you for reminding me why I ditched you as the weapon."

Bucky laughed now. He called Steve on his com link. "Yo Steve. I'm in a bit of a tussle. So yeah, help."

* * *

 _ **Please don't kill me Mattress Firm**_ © _**and Baskin' Robbins**_ ©.

 _ **Review, criticize, and all that.**_


	5. RESCUE!

_**I am so so so so sorry this chapter is so short! But I needed to save the good details for the next chapter.**_

 _ **I don't own Marvel or any partnership with them.**_

* * *

 **V. RESCUE!**

Steve burst into the building, shield in front of him. "Give it up, person who captured Bucky!"

"Ooh! It's fun time!" Shouted Red Skull. "Both the Winter Soldier and Captain A-failure! Or was it America? Sorry my memory is almost a century old."

"Red Skull!" Cried Steve. "How did you survive?!"

Red Skull rolled his eyes. "I'm just following the typical guidelines of the Marvel comics and company. You know, none of their characters really die."

"Which means that I didn't actually kill Fing Fang Foom and his brother Bing Bang Boom?" Asked Steve.

"Probably." Suddenly Red Skull pulled out a gun and began shooting. Steve blocked the shots as he ran forwards and started doing karate moves. Red Skull did random punching moves but it worked because he and Cap were nearly equal.

So Steve resolved to his agility. Red Skull had trouble keeping up. He went for tech and shocked Cap with a taser. Unfortunately the super soldier serum didn't knock him out but it did stun him. Skull tried to punch him but Cap kept rolling out of the way.

At one point Steve blocked Red Skull's punch with his shield. CLANG! The hollow room echoed the sound off the walls, making it nearly deafening.

"Hey! Keep it down!" A voice yelled from the ceiling. Steve looked up to see Bucky.

"Bucky!" He called happily. Then he was punched.

"Shut up, Buckyballs!" Shouted Red Skull.

Bucky glared. "Dude! That sounded so inappropriate!"

"You're sounding like this grandpa over here!"

Steve tackled Skull. "Who you calling grandpa?!"

"No seriously, you have a bad sense of humor. Think of all the people reading this! What if there are children reading this!"

Red Skull threw Steve off him. "A buckyball is short for buckminsterfullerene and it's a molecule made of carbon!" Skull began shooting at Steve who punched him in the face.

"And my mom said I had to learn everything in school!" Scoffed Bucky.

"And what do you mean by 'children reading this?'" Asked Steve.

"If you haven't noticed, in every story of AnuhdahPerson's someone breaks the fourth wall. And it just so happens it was my turn! Oh and Skull? Your net idea was stupid." Bucky whipped out his knife and cut the rope. "Maybe next time you should consider disarming people."

Red Skull whined. "Not fair!"

Bucky dropped to the ground. "Totes fair." He learned against a giant skinny pole. The pole tipped and Bucky fell over. "Oh shoot. That was a lever, wasn't it?"

"Yes. Yes it was," said Red Skull and Steve. A trapdoor opened up underneath them and all three fell. Bucky cried out, Steve yelled and Red Skull screamed like a little girl.

The trapdoor shut behind them and the woman at the desk just stared. Then she shouted "HYDRA agents! Red Skull has fallen into the pit of Doomawockysocky!"

Immediately all the HYDRA agents appeared. They turned on every light in the building and a disco ball. Then everyone began singing. "Ding dong! Red Skull is dead!"

* * *

 _ **If you thought fanfictions didn't teach anything remember** **buckminsterfullerene! OK well till later! Review and all!**_


	6. Steve, Skull and Fun (What About Bucky?)

_**I don't own Marvel or any partnership with them.**_

* * *

 **VI. Steve, Skull and Fun (What About Bucky?)**

Bucky saw a rope dangling as they fell and seized it. Steve snagged Bucky's ankle and Red Skull grabbed Steve's leg. "Let go you red head!" Bucky yelled.

"Hey!" Both Steve and Skull yelled.

"Steve you have blonde hair!"

"Oh. Wow. I had no idea." Steve looked surprised. Bucky would have face palmed but both his hands were busy.

He glared down at Red Skull. "Yo Red! Where's this shaft lead to?"

"A labyrinth of impossibles. Prisoners who are too much to handle are thrown down here. No one's survived."

"Well we have two super soldiers and the creator of this maze. We can do this!" Bucky cried optimistically.

"Bucky. Don't," Said Steve warningly.

"Too late." Red Skull was looking up the rope. Steve and Bucky both looked up to see a knife had been knowing away at the rope. The last string broke and the trio fell screaming like before.

They collapsed and lay gasping on the floor. "So now what?" Asked Bucky.

"We get up before the floor turns to saws." Red Skull climbed up one of the side walls and Steve and Bucky followed. Their feet were barely off the ground when the floor opened up and saws appeared.

"Well whaddya know? It's another episode of Steve and Red Skull and the Temple of Doom!" Said Steve.

"What about my name?" Whined Bucky.

"Steve and Red Skull with the Bucky of Doom in the temple of Doom," said Red Skull bluntly. Bucky shouted some vulgar and cuss words and he and Red Skull got into a punching match.

Suddenly a trapdoor opened under Bucky. **"AAAAIIIIIEEEEE!"** Bucky fell and the door shut.

"Bucky!" Steve wailed. "Where's that go, Skull?"

"No idea."

"You built this maze! How can you not remember?"

"Because I didn't build it! I can't make mazes! Hell, I can't even do the mazes on the back of the Kix(c) box!"

Steve slammed his hand on his face. This was going to be one long ride. And a wild one too. He removed his hand and kept pressing forwards. Having nothing better to do, Skull followed and Steve figured once they got out he'd bring Red Skull right to S.H.I.E.L.D. But first they had to find Bucky.

* * *

Bucky was hanging on to a bar. Below him was a giant lava pit. "Well this is a great way to start the morning!" He growled.

He pulled himself up so that he was sitting on the bar. Then he looked from where he came from. High above his head was the small chute he had slid down. And if it weren't for the fact he left his grapple hook at home he might have already escaped.

He searched the area looking for something to help him get out. Most mazes had one or two ways to get out. Or at least that's what he thought. The last maze he had been through was when he and Steve went to some fairgrounds. Steve had made it to the end while Bucky went back to the beginning.

Well that was before the Captain America years. And despite all that he had been through to become the Winter Soldier he always failed at mazes. Bucky wondered where he got the trait. Maybe he mom.

That stuff wasn't important right now. If he didn't figure out how to get out of here in the next five minutes this bar was going to break and the Winter Soldier would cease to exist. Although most people would probably be happy about that.

"Maybe I can surf on the lava with something lava proof!" Bucky said to himself. "Yeah! That's what I'll do!" He looked for something that might be lava proof. Nothing.

Suddenly the bar he was hanging on broke. _**"AAAIIIEEE!"**_ Bucky screamed. "Man this really reminds me of when I fell off that train. _**AAAIIIEEE!**_ "

 **SPLOOSH!** He landed in the lava. Bucky's lungs burned for air and he flailed around trying to escape. But he wasn't getting anywhere. 'So this is what it's like to die in lava,' thought Bucky. 'Huh. I was expecting more of a burning feeling clawing through my skin.'

* * *

Steve and Red Skull had been separated. Steve was actually not happy about that. He had just lost his chance to bring Skull to S.H.I.E.L.D and turn him in for good. But also, where was Bucky? Steve knew he had to search for his friend before either one got chopped in half.

Suddenly a hammer slammed in front of his face. Steve leapt backwards and then stared when he noticed the hammer shattered. One of the shards slid to his foot. He picked it up. It was awfully sticky.

Steve wondered what was wrong with this hammer. He tucked away the piece of the hammer and kept going. He had to get through this labyrinth. Then he had to find Bucky. And maybe Skull too. Actually he hoped Skull would get lost and die in here. 

* * *

_**Guess I just killed Bucky. Oops...**_

 _ **So now that I have my other story Circles of Confusing Love finished I can put more work into this story. Feel free to suest what other crazy things should happen to the characters later in the story.**_

 _ **Review, criticize, whatever you want. :)**_


	7. Rise From the Dead?

_**Sorry for not updating in, like, forever.**_

* * *

 **VII. Rise From the Dead?**

Bucky's head popped up. He gasped and sputtered. He lived! Wait, this wasn't lava. Bucky looked at the lava he was floating in. "It's just dyed water!" He cried. "What a waste of food coloring! Steve wouldn't be happy about that. But at least it wasn't real." Bucky turned onto his back and floated down the river. "I wonder what Steve's up to."

He let himself float along. Bucky let his thoughts 'float' around in his head. He tried to remember some things before his Winter Soldier years but nothing was really coming to mind.

Suddenly heheard rushing water. He shifted until he was upright. Then he prepared himself for the rapids.

Except there were no rapids. It was a waterfall. "Can this place get any more cliché?!" Howled Bucky. He began swimming against the river, which turned out to be easier than usual thanks to his super soldier serum.

Then his arm froze up. Bucky was dragged by the river and sent over the waterfall. He landed with a SPLOOSH! He came back up just fine. Bucky climbed onto a rock and sprawled himself out.

"Okay…how am I getting out of this one?"

* * *

Steve was flipping around, his agility paying off as he worked his way through the shooting ray guns. This maze was deadly! Well what else did he expect from HYDRA? Steve used his shield to block one of the rays as he kicked another gun, destroying it.

"So much for thinking this was going to be easy," muttered Steve. He threw his shield, slicing a ray gun right in half. "Where did Skull run off to?"

As though on cue the guns shut off. Steve looked up to see Bucky with his hand on a lever. "Bucky!" He climbed up to his friend. "Bucky! I'm so glad you're alive!" He hugged his friend.

Bucky pushed Steve away. "Guess what? This whole maze is made up of giant sugarcane and dyed water!"

"What?"

"Try this!" He held out a ray gun and shot it into his mouth. "Sugar water!"

"Lemme try!" Steve seized the ray gun and shot it into his mouth. Sugar water blasted in. Steve licked his lips as he swallowed the sweet water. "That stuff is good!"

Steve and Bucky went around pulled all the guns off the wall. All of them were filled with sugar water. Some of them actually had soda or lemonade in them instead. Whatever was in a gun it was sugary stuff and the two old-timers took as much as they could carry. Then they stacked on top of each other to climb out of the labyrinth.

"Freedom!" Screeched Steve. "Bucky, this is great!"

Suddenly Red Skull jumped out from the dark with a ray gun. "Stand down, Captain America or I will blast your head off!"

"Okay," said Steve, shrugging. Skull looked totally confused. Then he shot. Steve leapt over the blast and Bucky caught the liquid in his mouth. Then Steve shot Red Skull with one of their ray guns. Skull flew into the wall.

Bucky ran over and grabbed a crowbar. He bent it until it acted like handcuffs. "We got him!" He whooped.

"You won't get away with this!" Snapped Skull.

"Yeah yeah," said Steve. "Let's bring him to Tony."

The super soldier and the super red head marched to Avengers Tower. Steve went up to the door and knocked on the door.

Immediately a dozen machine guns and a War Machine pointed at the trio. Tony stuck his head out of a window a few floors up and shouted "Get off my lawn, you dang kids!"

"We got a skull!" Bucky shouted back.

Tony squinted, making sure that was the real Red Skull. "Rhodes, go get him." War Machine flew down and grabbed Red Slull. He flew away. "Great, now get out," said Tony.

"But we have something else!" Called Bucky. Steve kicked him. "Um, never mind."

"Get out."

"Tony, can't we get along again?" Whined Steve.

 _ **"DON'T MAKE ME START A CIVIL WAR!"**_ And Tony slammed the window shut. Bucky and Steve shrugged. They headed back home.

"Well that was an insane day," said Steve. "First we go out doing our own business and then we get stuck in a maze, then it turns out to be made of candy and then we capture Red Skull!"

Bucky smirked. "You know what the best part is? It's not even noon."

"Then let's go have lunch and go fishing!" Chimed Steve.

The Winter Soldier whacked his friend in the face. "Nah, let's have tree climbing races!"

"No."

They entered the condo, still arguing over what they should do. Suddenly both cried out. The condo looked like Thor and Hulk had been through it. "Perhaps we should spend our time cleaning up?" Suggested Steve.

"Agreed," said Bucky.

Steve and Bucky ate lunch and then went to organizing. First they went through the closets. Then they cleaned the living room. Next came the kitchen. Then the attic. Finally the garage (neither drove a car. They just kept useless junk there.)

As Steve straightened his room he found lots of old pictures of him and Bucky before the Captain America and Winter Soldier years. Steve smiled and slowly flipped through X studying each picture carefully.

 **"STEEEEEEVVVEEE!** " Steve jumped.

"What?" He yelled back.

"You didn't buy me a mattress!"

"Sucks for you!"

"Language!"

"Don't you language me!"

 _ **"Well #%83 & $%!"**_ Bucky screeched.

Steve growled. "Language to you, Bucky! Besides, with all the junk you have you could literally make your own mattress!"

Bucky shouted more cuss words, to which Steve said his signature word. "Same goes to you!" Howled Bucky. "I don't see why you haven't sold it yet!"

Steve slapped down his hand on a box. "Then we'll have a garage sale! Does that work for you?"

"I'm up for it! We could certainly make more room for my stuff." Bucky was tackled. The two flung fists at each other and drove one another into the hall. Then Bucky jumped on Steve and they fell down the stairs. Steve threw Bucky off him. Bucky landed in the kitchen. He grabbed plates and flung them at Steve. Steve seized chopsticks and used them as mini javelins.

Bucky grabbed the forks and hurled them through the air. Steve leapt around, dodging until his fingers landed on the butter knife drawer. He pulled out two butter knifes and used them to block the forks. Then he sent some at Bucky.

Suddenly Bucky screamed. "STOP!" Steve stopped. He glanced around and realized they had just caused a wreck in the house. "You know, when we first came in I thought Thor and Hulk had ransacked the house. But know I know who caused this mess," said Bucky. "It's us."

Steve nodded. "You know what? Well do the garage sale tomorrow. For now, we need to clean up this mess and go buy some new plates, a mattress and lamps."

"Okay," said Bucky. "I'm going shopping!"

"You get back here!" Snapped Steve. "I'm not cleaning your half of the mess!"

"Be a good boy, Steve, and clean up the mess!"

"Never!" And Steve and Bucky didn't speak to each other for the rest of the day. They cleaned the condo, went shopping, and made themselves their own dinner. But not a single word was passed between them.

* * *

 _ **Crazy Steve and Bucky.**_

 _ **Review please?**_


	8. Garage Sale!

_**Don't own anything.**_

* * *

 **VIII. Garage Sale!**

Steve smiled. He set out a box full of junk he didn't need any more and spread the items out on a table he had set up. He organized it carefully until it looked super tempting to buy something.

On another table, Bucky was doing the same thing. Except he just dumped the items out in the table. Then he left them. "Bucky! You should organize the stuff!" Cried Steve.

"Ugh, Steve! I'm tired of having to put up with your total organized side!"

"You know what?" Steve raised his hands in a surrendering way. "I'm not going to fight you. Do what you want." Steve went back to organizing.

Within an hour Steve and Bucky had covered their whole lawn with the useless junk. "It feels so good to be cleaning out this place!" Steve cheered.

Bucky nodded. "Gotta agree with that. Hey, did you ever put up the garage sale posters?"

Steve froze. "That was your job!"

"No I'm pretty sure it was yours."

"Then let's settle this with a penny toss!"

"How about a game of rock, paper, scissors?" Steve frowned. Bucky groaned and told him how to play.

"Rock, paper, scissors!" Both curled their fists and pounded their palm. Bucky flattened his medal hand out while Steve stuck out his pointer and middle fingers. Grumbling, the Winter Soldier went around New York City pasting posters on to anything.

Within a few hours after putting them all up some people arrived. They scavenged through the belongings. Steve and Bucky felt very proud of how much they had cleaned out.

"We're gonna get so much money off all this stuff!" Bucky whooped.

Steve blinked. "I don't care about the money. I bought we were after the clean up part."

"Whatever."

Skip a few hours and Bucky and Steve had their first customers. It was Black Widow and Scarlett Witch. Steve eagerly greeted them. Bucky just waved.

"You actually think you're going to get rid of all this junk?" Grumbled Natasha.

"Come on, Tasha. It's not that bad!" Steve tried.

"No, it's pretty gross," added Wanda. "Maybe you should try bringing it to a scrap yard."

Bucky nodded in agreement. Steve didn't see it and if he did he didn't pay attention. "Come on, you two! I'm sure there's something in here that you could use."

"Like what?" Asked Wanda.

Steve shrugged. He kept begging until Wanda and Natasha finally decided to take a look around. They split up, searching through the enormous piles of junk. "You know, Tony

could probably find some use in some of these objects," said Natasha.

"So could Bruce, Scott and Thor," added Wanda.

"Thor?" Bucky asked.

"Everything from Midgard is a toy to him. Even Clint's car."

"We'll go back and tell them. Hopefully you'll get more customers in the meantime," said Natasha.

"Great!" Said Steve. He waved goodbye to the women. Bucky just raised his hand. Natasha and Wanda left the two super soldiers alone.

The next customers to come were the Fantastic Four. Steve walked around taking to each person about the greatness of a certain item they were interested in and Bucky acted as cashier. He always charged a high price on each item. "Fifty dollars for a bike lock I can hold! That's ridiculous!" Complained The Thing.

"Hey, that lock is an antique! It comes from 1952!" Bucky argued. This wasn't true. The bike lock was bought last year but neither Bucky nor Steve knew how to ride a bike so

they decided it was useless.

The Thing fell for it and bought it at the price. The next complaint came from Invisible Woman. "I don't want to pay a hundred bucks for some old books!"

"Then I suppose you could just pay a Bucky," retorted the Winter Soldier.

"Aren't you a scream." She handed up a dollar.

Bucky stared at it. "I meant an exact copy of me. And unless you want to spend your money on a cloning device I suggest you just pay up." Sue chewed her lip as she pulled the other 99 dollars.

Meanwhile Steve was talking with the Human Torch. "I think you would enjoy this cuckoo clock! It's from when I was a boy, though I never understood it's purpose."

"I was just watching the minute hand. I wasn't interested in the clock," said Johnny. Suddenly the clock struck 10 and the bird popped out.

"Cuckoo! Cuckoo!" It screeched ten times. Johnny fell over laughing and Steve didn't understand what was so funny about it.

"Changed my mind! I think I'll buy this!" Said Johnny. Steve grinned as Johnny took the clock and headed for where Bucky was.

Steve went the other way and met with Mr. Fantastic. "Hi Reed!" He said brightly.

"You guys have a lot of useful parts for contraptions," commented Reed. "Why would you give them away?"

"Well we don't build contraptions besides cannons that blow up our condo (courtesy to Bucky) and so we thought it would be good to give them a new owner."

Reed nodded in agreement. "Then it's a good thing you're giving it away to someone else." He stretched out his arms and gathered all his objects. Then he and Steve walked to Bucky.

"Fine…" Johnny slapped down his credit card and Bucky swiped it against his arm. He handed the card back to Johnny. Then he looked at Steve and Reed with a giant smile.  
"I didn't know you had a credit card slider on your arm," said Steve.

"Well you still have a lot to learn about me, Captain," laughed Bucky. "Oh look, is that Ultron?" Steve whipped around. Sure enough, Ultron was standing by one of the tables, humming something.

Steve grabbed his shield off his back and bolted towards Ultron. Bucky turned to Reed and looked at the items. "That will be 200 dollars."

"Ultron!" Shouted Steve angrily. "I thought we destroyed you!"

"Chill, captain," said Ultron. "I heard there was a garage sale so I decided to bring along my evil buddies and I and check it out."

Steve blinked. "Evil…buddies?"

Ultron jerked his thumb behind him. Steve nearly fainted when he saw Dr. Doom, Red Skull, Loki, Yellowjacket, Magnito, and Ronan riffling through the piles. "Avengers Assemble..?" Squeaked Steve.

"Haha, nice try but I already stopped by my dad and bro's and they said you two were kicked off the Avengers," said Ultron. "Besides, we're just here for some junk."

CRASH! A space ship dropped within a few feet of the condo. The Guardians of the Galaxy piled out with weapons pointed at Ronan. "Time's up, you hammerhead!" Shouted Rocket.

"Ooh, what's this?" Star-Lord forgot all about Ronan and picked up a water gun. "Looks cool."

"Quill!" Scolded Gamora. "Get your butt over here and help us take down Ronan!"

"I am Groot!"

Ronan turned to look at the Guardians. He was about to say something when FOOM! A colored tornado appeared between them and Thor popped out. "Loki! You shall do nomore evil on Midgard!" He roared.

Loki rolled his eyes. "Brother, I am merely just shopping. What's wrong with that?"

"Shopping?" Thor looked dumbfounded. "Since when did you get into shopping?"

"Wait… are you shopping too?" Asked Peter to Ronan.

"Only because that stupid armored human dragged me along."

"Hey!" Screamed Ultron. He flew forwards to attack Ronan but Magnito stopped him in midair.

Bucky stood up and shouted "Are you guys gonna buy anything or are you just browsing?"

"It's his fault!" Shouted Ultron and Ronan, pointed an accusing finger at one another.

An evil grin spread over Bucky's face. "You know what I think? I think this calls for an auction!" He seized a flat sheet of metal that was laying around and twisted it into a come sale. Then he leapt on the cashier table. "Steve bring up the first item!"

Steve was about to protest but then he noticed the villains, Guardians and Thor were all crowded around. He decided to go with the flow. Steve grabbed an old bullet maker and gave it to Bucky. "An old bullet maker from 1954!" Shouted Bucky. "Starting price is $50!" Bucky ranted out numbers and the heroes and villains raised their hands as quickly as they could.

To make things more interesting more people came to the garage sale and joined in on the bidding. Steve did nothing but run back and forth between certain tables and Bucky, handing the Winter Soldier an object for him to auction off.

Suddenly an elderly man with glasses that looked a superhero's goggles pushed past everyone. "Everything in this garage sale for half the income budget of Marvel!"

" **SOLD!** To the guy right here!" Shouted Bucky. The heroes, villains, and civilians turned away, dejected. The old man took everything, paid Bucky and Steve and left.

"I'd say that was successful!"

"I gotta agree with you there," said Steve.

Suddenly Tony and Rhody flew down. "What did the garage sale finish?" He sulked.

Rhody blinked. Or at least that's what Bucky imagined him doing behind that mask. "Don't you have everything in your tower somewhere?" said War Machine.

"Yeah but I wanted to see what they had."

"Sorry," said Steve. "We're sold out."

Bucky shook his head. "Nah, we have one more item. Some kind of wrench. Found it under a table. We must have missed it." He handed it to Tony.

Tony took one look at the wrench and then let out a whoop. "My candy wrench!"

"You what now what now?" Steve, Bucky and Rhody asked.

"I made a candy wrench a while ago and then lost it! Somehow it ended up here but now I have it back!"

"Okay…" said Rhody slowly. "Um, Tony. Why do you call it a candy wrench?"

Tony grinned. He turned the adjustable knob on the wrench. Suddenly he pushed on it and the wrench opened up. There was still some gummy worms and Reese's Pieces in there. Tony tipped his head back and poured the contents in. Steve barfed. "Thanks oldies! How much do I pay you?"

Bucky thought for a second. "How about a day back in the tower?"

"No."

"Then maybe two iron man suits? Steve and I could use the tech."

"How about some money?"

Bucky sighed. "Fine. Gas money to get to the nearest casino." Tony handed over the money and Bucky tucked it away.

"Well it was nice seeing you! Thanks for my candy wrench!" Tony and Rhody took off.

Bucky riffled through the collected money. "Imaging what we could do with this!"

"Yeah like renovating the house," said Steve.

"No _**WE'RE GONNA BECOME BILLIONAIRES!**_ "

"What are you thinking?"

"To the nearest casino! Steve, you and I are gonna earn a jackpot tonight!" Bucky ran into the garage and pulled out his motorcycle. He kicked it and took off.

"Dammit Bucky! We're not gambling!" Steve jumped on his remodeled WWII cycle and chased Bucky. "We're not gambling! Do you hear me? _**WE ARE**_ _ **NOT GAMBLING!"**_


	9. Gambling Times

_**Auuggghhh! I feel like I've neglected this story (wait I don't think neglected is the right word). Anyway, I'm not in my home state right now so I can't post as easily. Hopefully I can get another chapter out before the end of this week. But first you have to read this chapter. Enjoy!**_

 _ **I don't own Marvel or Disney or anything.**_

* * *

 **IX. Gambling Times**

"You're no fun." Bucky pushed Steve away from him and walked into the casino. "I want to enjoy my life too! I don't want a hovering parent."

Steve growled. "Did you just call me your parent? If by anything, I'm at least doing a good job!" He trotted after Bucky.

"Yeah, well maybe for an overprotective parent!" Hissed Bucky. He stuffed some money into Steve's hands. "Go play poker or 21 or a drink something like that. We'll meet back here in at some point before midnight if it makes you feel better about me." He dissolved into the crowd.

Steve sighed. "You have got to be kidding me." Nevertheless, he decided to make use of his time and went to the bar. Maybe there was some sort of light drink he could get. Besides, he didn't know how to play any of these games. Steve wondered where Bucky had learned them. Probably HYDRA.

He sat at the bar. "Can I help you?" Asked the woman bartender.

"Do you have anything light?"

"Boy, you've come to the wrong place for that kind of stuff." The man laughed.

Steve knew his super soldier serum could handle any drink no matter what it was. He just was picky on the tastes. "Fine. Vodka?"

"Yessiree!" The woman poured him a shot of Vodka. Steve downed it in three gulps. "Okay so what can I do around here?"

"No idea," said the woman sarcastically. "I mean, you totally don't want to spend your money on some games right?"

"I'm not the betting kind."

"Maybe you should try it. There might be something you find interesting."

Steve glanced around the bar. He saw Bucky playing something with a rod and balls on a table. Bucky jabbed the rod one of the balls. It cause a chain reaction and a few of the balls rolled into holes at the ends of the table. He motioned to Steve.

Steve walked over. "What are you doing?"

"Playing pool," answered Bucky. "Grab a rod." Steve did so. "Just hit some balls into the holes on the sides," Bucky explained. Bucky's opponent demonstrated by hitting the white ball. It didn't go in.

Bucky looked at Steve. Steve lined up his rod with the white ball. Then he stabbed it with all his strength. The ball ricocheted off edges of the table and the other balls before sliding into a hole. The other balls also rolled into a hole.

Bucky and his opponent stared at Steve with open mouths. Then Bucky smiled. "He's with me. Pay up, squirt."

"How do I know you're not lying and that this guy is actually with you?" Snarled the opponent.

"We're besties!" Bucky grinned. Then he leaned closer to Steve and whispered "Do our special handshake."

"What special handshake?" Steve hissed back.

"You know, the one we did back in the war?"

"Buck, we never had a special handshake."

Bucky frowned. "Fine. Make something up and I'll try and follow." Steve waved his arm around like what he had seen Tony and Rhody doing. Bucky tried to follow but it was clear they had no idea what they were doing.

The opponent grumbled. "Whatever." He paid Bucky and left.

"We got money!" Cheered Bucky. "Steve, you are a genius with all your super soldier skills. Come on! Lemme show you more things we can do."

Bucky made Steve play at least one round of every game. Steve began to get the hang of all the betting thing. Bucky smiled. He had gotten his friend into gambling!

"Steve, I'm going to play some poker. Wanna come?"

"Nah," said Steve. "Was gonna join some men in a game of Blackjack."

"Alright," said Bucky. He glanced up at the large clock above the bar. "How about we leave in an hour. Then we'll head back home. Meet at the bar in an hour." Steve nodded and the two split up.

Bucky went over to the poker table. "Hey! Yer the Winter Soldier!" Growled some man.

"Indeed I am," said Bucky. He picked up his stack of poker chips and flicked them into the air with his fingers. He caught them with his metal hand. "What's wrong? Afraid to face me?"

The man growled. "Natalia! Get o'er here and play poker against this guy with me!"

"Natasha?" Bucky's eyes widened as he saw none other than Natasha Romanoff stride out from the dining room with a glass of champagne in his hand. "Natasha Romanova?!"

Natasha smiled. "Hello Barnes. Did not expect to see you hanging around here. Where's the other super soldier?"

"I think he said he was going to play Blackjack."

"No matter." She sat down across from him. "Come on, boys. Let's join the soldier. Give him a good round." Bucky eyed each of the four other men who sat down around the table. A woman named Acala dealt the cards. Bucky seized his two cards and glanced at them. 'Well this is great,' he thought. 'I'm going to have to beat Natasha Romanoff, aka the best Russian poker player since…since ever!'

The table sprang to life with chips tossed and stacked, cards flying, and grunts from the other men. Bucky kept coming up with bad hands. Meanwhile Natasha kept raising her bets. She probably had a good hand.

Bucky knew if he didn't win or surrender soon he was going to run out of actual money to pay. Then he remembered he still had that credit card from Tony. How nice of Tony to make everyone their own little bank account. He raised the stakes higher, his confidence regained.

But things didn't go as planned and neither he nor Natasha won. It was the man who had called Natasha over to the table. "Hah! Pay up, squirt!"

Bucky grumbled and he and the other players paid. Then Bucky left to find Steve. He saw him drinking at the bar. "That's odd," Bucky muttered to himself. "When did Steve like rum?" Maybe Steve was trying to catch on with the times. Bucky left his friend alone. He checked the time. He still had about half an hour before he and Steve had to get together. Bucky went off to play something else.

Steve downed his twelfth glass. He slammed his fist to the counter and smiled at the bartender girl. "Top that!"

The woman slid her hand onto a glass and drank it. It wasn't as fast as he had done but it didn't matter. The competition was still on. Steve laughed as he took his turn. This super soldier serum really worked well!

The bartender finally passed out. Steve was given a whole bunch of money. He went to spend it on something. His head was feeling a little dizzy but otherwise than that he was happier than ever. Why, he didn't even remember a time when he felt more like himself than this time.

Steve dove in and out of everything, unaware of how many drinks he had and what time it was. He didn't know that Bucky had been patiently waiting at the bar for two hours. He bartered some things and bought other things. Man, Bucky knew the perfect places to party!

Finally Steve remembered about Bucky. He dragged himself to the bar. "Hey Burck!" He slurred.

Bucky frowned. "You're late soldier! And...um, Steve?"

"Wassup man? Yeah, howja doin'?"

"Steve are you okay?"

Steve hoisted himself onto a stool. "Gimme one of dem applejack!" He shouted. The new bartender woman poured a glass and handed it to him. Steve drank it in less than a minute. "Anuhder!" He threw the glass down.

Bucky jumped up and seized Steve. "No no! No more. We're good. Here!" He handed her a credit card. The woman swiped it but it got rejected. She tried again. The machine went BERP.

"I'm sorry, it looks like your credit card is full," she said.

"Umm…heheh…okay how much did that cost?" Bucky ended up having to hand over all but ten dollars from his pocket. Then he ran off while dragging Steve along.

When he got outside Bucky dragged Steve to where their motorcycles were. To his surprise, his was there but Steve's was gone. "Dammit!" He scowled.

"Wha?" Steve sang.

"Someone stole your motorcycle."

"Nah. I gamble' it."

"YOU WHAT?!" Bucky reached into Steve's pocket and pulled out the leftover pocket money he had been given. There was three dollars left. "STEEEEEVVVEEE!"

Steve laughed. "Guess yull be drivin' meh home, heheh."

"Steve we can't live on a rejected credit card and twenty bucks! Our pocket money combined!" Steve gave a wretched laugh before his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he passed out. "Dammit," growled Bucky. He flung Steve over his shoulder and straddled the motorcycle. Then he drove home. 'Now how am I supposed to earn some money when we have literally nothing left?' He thought. 'Better yet, how am I supposed to pay off the bills at the end of this month?'4

* * *

 _ **I know the super soldier serum is supposed to help a person never become drunk but that'll be explained in the next chapter.**_

 ** _Also, I learned a little poker just for this chapter._**

 ** _Did anyone catch the slight Indiana Jones reference?_**

 ** _Also has anyone watched Captain America: Civil War? It's soo good! I promise there will be no spoilers in this story as it mostly revolves around my small knowledge of the comics and my stupid ideas to turn two super soldiers into overgrown children._**

 ** _Please review!_**


	10. Hangovers and Nicknames

**_I don't own anything. But you probably knew that. XD_**

* * *

 **X. Hangover and Nicknames**

Steve woke up with a massive headache. Where was he? Oh wait, he was in bed. Why was the room spinning around like crazy? He went to get up but something held him down. It was restraints strapped to his wrists, ankles, and across his chest. _**"WHAT THE HELL?!"**_

Bucky entered the room with an angry glare on his face. "Language. What's your full name?" He demanded.

Steve blinked. "Um…Steven Grant Rogers?"

"And who am I?"

"James Buchanan Barnes?"

"And who is this?" Bucky held up a picture of Tony.

"Tony Fricken Stark?"

"Last question." Bucky thrust his metal arm forward and held up two fingers. "How many fingers am I not holding up?"

"Three."

Bucky sighed. "Good. I'm talking to a sane Steve."

"What are you even talking about?" Steve wondered aloud. "And why are you giving me the concussion test?"

Bucky released the restraints on Steve. He helped his friend out of bed and made sure he could stand. Then Bucky balled up his fist and punched him in the jaw. Steve toppled backwards and hit the wall. He slid to the floor. "What the hell, Steve?! You got drunk last night and spent all our goddamn money! I literally had to drag you home on one motorcycle because, fuck me, you gambled the other one!"

"Sorry. But you don't need to use the megaphone."

 _ **"I AM NOT USING A MEGAPHONE!"**_ Steve winced and slapped his hands over his ears. Man, Bucky had a loud voice. He didn't remember it ever being this loud.

"How did I get drunk? I have super soldier serum!"

"Natasha was there and she wanted revenge on you for something so she dressed up as the bartender and poisoned your drink." When Steve looked skeptical Bucky grumbled and said "Howard Stark lied to you and the super soldier serum isn't totally immune to forever alcoholic consumption and you happened to surpass the limit and knocked out."

"Those dirty liars!" Hissed Steve. "So what do we do now?"

"Well we have to regain all that money you spent. Lucky for me I found a brand new method that might work for us! So long as you don't gamble the money away right after we get it."

"Whatever," said Steve. "Lemme see this new method."  
Bucky lead the dizzy Steve to the dining room where a computer sat. He pressed some of the keys and then pulled up a window. "Behold! Craigslist™ !"

Steve leaned forwards and tilted his head to inspect the site more. If only the room around it wasn't spinning so fast…"When did Daniel Craig join the Blacklist™ cast?" Bucky cocked his head. "Never mind. And I'm usually the one that doesn't make random references. So what is this?"

"This is an online shopping site where you can buy just about anything as well as create ads for anything!" Bucky looked extremely proud about himself. "And I actually got some money for us to work with, especially since we have to pay the taxes in a few days."

"Since when did you care about taxes?" Steve grumbled.

"I'm not as dumb as you think I am!"

"Whatever. What did you sell?"

Bucky pulled up the ad. "I sold your shield! Brilliant, right!?"

Steve gasped at the ad. Bucky had priced it at a thousand dollars. And it had been sold at a thousand. He couldn't take his eyes off the ad until Bucky said "You okay?"

"No it's not brilliant! You idiot! That's my weapon! How would you feel if I sold your guns?!" Steve screamed in Bucky's face.

"But you didn't," Bucky said, his hands up in surrendering mode. "And we can pay the taxes, right?"

Steve grabbed Bucky's collar and ran him into a wall. "You bastard! I've had that thing for over seventy years and you decide to sell it now? Do you know how much it takes to replace that stuff?! It'll cost me my arm! Maybe a leg with it!"

"Not fair!" Whined Bucky. "You literally like to insult me! Just for that, have a mouthful of my fist!" He punched Steve in the face. "Oh sorry. Were you expecting a flesh hand? Well too bad my existence today _**COST ME MY FUCKING ARM AND A STUPID WINTER SOLDIER IMPLANT!"**_

"I thought I told you to go to a doctor and have that implant removed!" Steve scolded. He punched Bucky. The two super soldier broke into a fist to fist combat. Even when they turned the silverware into weapons the fight didn't cease.

The front door swung open and Sharon Carter stepped in with a bag of groceries in her arms. "Hi boys! How are you…you know what? You guys look busy. I'll come back later." She left the groceries on the counter and bolted away.

Steve threw a plate at Bucky. The Winter Soldier dodged and threw a butter knife. Steve used two spoons to deflect it. He hurled a spatula at Bucky's neck. Bucky sidestepped it and seized a frying pan. He made vain attempts to hit Steve over the head. Steve then grabbed a chopping knife and blocked Bucky's pan.

"Knives are my thing!" Bucky howled. He grabbed a flower vase (for some reason that wasn't sold in the garage sale) and cracked it on Steve's knife.

"Stop it!" Steve yelled. Bucky froze in midair. He face planted into the oven. "You're lucky I didn't turn that on! Ow! Stupid headache. We should figure some way to get my shield back. And soon. If that thing lands into enemy hands-"

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, dangerous consequences. Steve, this stuff ain't new to me."

"Well then let's go! Who did you sell it to?"

"Some guy by the name of Sked Rull. Eye-dee-kay."

"Eye-dee-kay?" Bucky rolled his eyes again.

"It's short for I don't know. Damn, Steve, you need to catch up on the times."

"Language!"

Bucky grabbed the frying pan and tried to hit Steve again. "Damn is not a bad word! And you should have heard yourself earlier!"

"I know. I just wanted to see your reaction."

The Winter Soldier face palmed. "Lordy, please help me."

Steve smiled. He clapped his hand onto Bucky's shoulder. "Don't look down, soldier. We're going to set things straight. You know what? I need a new nickname for you. Hmm…"

"I don't need another nickname," Bucky grumbled. "And when did the subject change to nicknames?!"

He was waved off. "You can never have enough nicknames for your best friend." Bucky sighed. "Let's see…" Steve thought for a moment. "How about something like spunky? Cause you got a lot of spunk!" Bucky shook his head. "Alright…Burky!" Bucky shook his head. "Buckles?"

"No," said Bucky.

"I know! Sputnik!" Steve whopped. Bucky jerked to his full body height with his arms pressed to his sides. Then his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he collapsed. "Okay, maybe that wasn't something he liked," said Steve. "Hey, Sputnik. Wake up."

* * *

 _ **Sorry for making Steve dumb. Looks like he and Bucky switched roles.**_

 ** _Also, I have never had a hangover so I made this based off a bunch of stuff I found on the computer._**

 _ **Please review!**_


	11. Wake Up, Bucky

_**I don't own Marvel or anyone in this story. And I'm trying to post this on an iPad. This is hard.**_

* * *

 **XI. Wake Up, Bucky**

"Bucky? Bucky!" Someone was shaking him. "Wake up!" Bucky moaned. Steve reached over and poured a cold glass of water on his friend, causing the Winter Soldier to sputter and choke.

"What the fuck, Steve?!"

"Language."

"Don't you language me! Why the…" Bucky's eyes fell onto a fat paperback Steve was holding. It had the HYDRA sign as well as a scribble of his metal arm on it. Bucky knew that book immediately. "Why do you have my Winter Soldier manual?"

"Well I called you a name and it put you to sleep. Not the bad kind of put to sleep!" Steve added quickly. "And I got this from the person that bought my shield."

Bucky frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I went on a hunt while you were asleep. My main objective was to find a way to wake you up but instead I saw some guy using my shield so I got it back."

"Steve. What. Did. You. Do."

Steve smiled. "I haven't had a good story to tell in a long time!"

* * *

 _Steve walks wearily down the street. Brimmed hat way down low…_

 _Actually, Steve was in the library, looking for books about the Winter Soldier. So far, they all said the Winter Soldier was a terrorist that should be killed but Steve knew better. The Winter Soldier was not some terrorist anymore._

 _Steve began to think about what he could do to wake Bucky, who had somehow slowed some of his systems as well. This soldier knew how to fall into a deep sleep. He tried searching in the "Brainwashed Buddies" section but nothing came up. "Dammit!" Shouted Steve. "Why can't I find anything to help Buck!"_

 _"Shhhhhh!" Hissed the librarian._

 _"I'm trying to help someone with memory and controlling chips in their brain!" Steve shouted back. "So do you know if you have anything about brainwashed people with controlling chips in their brain that make them fall asleep on command?"_

 _The librarian frowned. "How many Winter Soldiers are there in the world? No, we don't have anything."_

 _"I'm sure there's something in here! There has to be! Is there a restricted section I could look through? Please?!"_

 _Thirty seconds later Steve went flying out of the library. "How rude!" He said, rubbing his head. "You guys stink. I hate modern libraries."_

 _BONG! Steve jerked his head up and saw a man throwing the Captain America shield. It wasn't as classy as how he did it but it was still effective. The man was knocking over civilians._

 _"Hey!" Steve yelled. He stood up and ran over to the guy. The man raised the shield and was about to bring it down on a woman but Steve knocked him over. They began to fistfight and the woman ran away. "That's my shield!"_

 _"I bought it fair and square, Captain America! You're the one who posted it online!" Snapped the man. His voice sounded familiar._

 _"That was my friend, Bucky!"_

 _Steve realized this man was almost matched in skills. It was hard to defeat him. However he was able to yank the shield out of the man's hands. Now he had the advantage. Steve drove the man back towards a bridge overhanging a deep canal._

 _He pinned the man against the side of the bridge. "Even if it is fair and square you can't use this like a destructive weapon," he hissed. "It's not meant for that kind of work."_

 _"Says the guy who uses it all the time like a destructive weapon!" Growled the man. "Think about how many things you've blown up with just a single throw. It's something we both have in common."_

 _"You and I have nothing in common!" Steve gripped the man's neck. The man kicked him back and jumped over into the canal._

 _Steve stared down at the canal. Did the man die? Would he come back? Steve left he bridge, his shield in hand._

 _Suddenly the man popped out of the water. He jumped up on the bank and reached into the a support on the bridge. He grabbed a fat paperback with a scribble of Bucky's arm and the HYDRA sign on it. Then he ran away laughing._

 _"Get back here!" Steve threw his shield and the man tripped. He dropped his book. Steve plucked it off the ground and ran away as fast as his legs would carry him._

 _He opened the book. It was in German. "Shoot…er…now what?" Steve thought for a second and then a bright idea came into his head. He ran back to the condo and leapt onto Bucky's computer. Then he typed in Google translate…  
_

* * *

"…and then I was able to break the code and bring you back!" Steve finished.

Bucky shook his head and laughed softly. "You have to be the craziest person." He suddenly threw himself into Steve and hugged him. "But you're the BEST FRIEND EVER!"

"Ack! Buck! Can't. Breathe!" Steve slid his hands between him and Bucky and pushed the Soldier away. "What the HYDRA was that for?!"

"Come on, Steve! Let's go have some fun like we used to!"

Steve grunted. "Well you're acting awfully gay."

Bucky laughed. "Yeah, I'm gay!"

"Oh my god!" Sharon popped out from behind the couch.

"Sharon?!" Both soldiers cried. "When did you get here?"

Sharon swung herself over the couch and sat on it. "I've been here for a few minutes. You guys do know what gay refers to now, right?"

Bucky and Steve looked at each other. "To the computer!" Screeched Bucky. Sharon tapped her foot impatiently as the two searched up what she meant. Suddenly Bucky gasped and fell out of the chair. Steve-who had been standing over him-just blinked a few times.

"Well?" Sharon grumbled.

"It's…groovy…I guess…So long as it makes people happy, I'm fine with it," said Steve.

"No one says groovy anymore, Steve." Sharon sighed. She turned her attention to the sprawled out Bucky on the floor. "And what do you think, Mr. Soldier?"

Bucky got up. "Steve. I have the best idea ever."

"It better not involve guns!" Steve growled.

"Chill buddy. What is it with you and always thinking I'm going to murder someone? No, I think that this new gay stuff gives our friendship a whole new level! From now on, I shall become your husband!"

Steve glared at Sharon and then Bucky. "We're not getting married, you idiot! We're just best friends!"

"Come on, Stevie! It'll be fun! Picture this." Buck swung around and squeezed Steve against his side. He wrapped one arm around the super soldier and waved his other hand out in empty space. "Imagine bells ringing, people crying out of happiness, and I standing handsomely on a pedestal as you, the bride, make your way down to me through a pathway of roses. It will be the most wonderful thing ever!"

"Three things about that plan," Steve cut in. "One; I am not kissing you! Two; When did you start fantasizing romance like a little girl? Three; Why am I the bride?! I don't look good on a dress!"

"Well I don't look good on a dress either!" Bucky howled.

"Well I'm the older and taller one so I should be the groom!" Steve yelled.

"Well I'm actually older than you because I wasn't frozen in an ice block for seven decades!"

"Well I'm the more respected one around here!"

"Well I still need that damn mattress and have you gotten it yet? Nooo! You're as irresponsible as a wife would be!"

"Well then, if I'm the wife, happy wife, happy life!"

Sharon pushed the two boys apart. "You guys are fighting like an old couple, no offense! Why don't you pipe down and pull yourselves together? Better yet, come on over to my Aunt Peggy's house and have stew with us."

Steve nodded. "Good idea."

"I hate stew," Bucky whined.

 ** _"FUCKING HELL, BUCKY! GROW UP!"_**

 ** _"LANGUAGE!"_**

* * *

 ** _so yeah. Hope you like and sorry for some of the typos._**


	12. The Stew

_**I don't own anything. All rights to Marvel and their partners.**_

 _ **Also, I believe I have hit a writer's block. :(**_

* * *

 **XII. The Stew**

Sharon sighed. This had to be the most boring car ride ever. Steve and Bucky decided to use silent treatment on each other, which happened to also include her somehow. She tried to start a conversation with one of them but neither answered. Sharon gave up.

They arrived at Peggy's house. "Smile, you idiots. Aunt Peggy doesn't like grumpy people," Sharon murmured. The three got out and Sharon entered first. "Aunt Peggy! We have some visitors!"

Peggy hobbled out from the kitchen. "Steve! James! You two are just in time! We're about to have stew."

"So we heard," said Steve. "Thank you for letting us join you."

"It's an honor. We have so much to discuss anyway. Sharon, please start dishing out the food."

Sharon left them. Peggy lead Bucky and Steve into the dining room. Steve sat down next to her while Bucky sat on the opposite side. "So how's living in that little house of yours going?"

"How did you know about that?" Asked Steve. "I don't think I told you."

"Sharon did."

Bucky answered. "It's real swell," he drawled. "The place is sooo tidy and we're such goood friends. We get along reaall fine."

"Why can't you try and be nice for once, Winter Soldier?" Steve hissed.

Bucky shivered. "So intimidating."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Next question," said Peggy quickly. "Do you two have a job yet?"

"No because Steve isn't smart enough," Bucky said angrily.

"What is wrong with you, Buck?" Steve snapped.

"I don't wanna be here!"

"Is it because of the stew?"

"Yes."

Peggy looked confused. Steve quickly explained that HYDRA had always fed him bad stew so Bucky associated all stew with HYDRA's. "You wouldn't believe what was in that stew!" Bucky cried. "There was cold potatoes and some puke and lots of backwash and rotten tomatoes and…"

"Bucky, we did not need to know that," said Steve quickly.

Suddenly Sharon burst into the room. "Stew is served!" She placed the bowls around the table then took a seat next to Bucky.

Steve took a sip. The stew was beyond good. "This is amazing! Bucky, you have got to try it!"

Bucky grunted. Sharon laughed nervously. "Maybe he just needs some encouragement." She took a sip herself. "Mmm this is delicious!"

"Still not eating stew," Bucky growled.

Steve was about to say something but Peggy had other ideas. She whipped a gun out from under the table and pointed it at Bucky's forehead. "Listen up, birdbrain! Eat the stew or face the wrath of my pistol!"

"Okay okay!" Bucky began stuffing the food down his throat. Steve and Sharon just stared in shock. "NOM NOM this good NOM NOM!"

Peggy sat back down and clipped the gun to the table. "There we go. One healthy little Barnes coming up. And don't forget to drink, dearie." Bucky seized the water glass and downed it in three sips.

Sharon put her hand on Bucky's shoulder. "Bucky, you're going to die if you don't slow down."

"And if I do your momma's gonna kill me!"

"She's not my mom. Now slow down." Bucky stopped eating for a moment and then continued on at a good pace.

Steve laughed nervously. "Well that was quite the scene! Maybe Bucky needs to learn some manners."

"Don't think you're going to get out of this easily," said Peggy. "Eat your stew before it gets cold, Steven Rogers! Or all my hard work will end up as nothing." Steve seized his spoon and began shoveling it in much like Bucky had been.

Bucky snickered. "What were you saying earlier?" He sneered at Steve.

"Children should be seen and not heard!" Peggy roared. "Except for you Sharon." She smiled brightly.

"Problem: we're not children," Bucky reminded.

"Yeah, Aunt Peggy. They're like 90," Sharon added.

"Well they look young. It must be that super soldier serum that makes them look like they still haven't had their backs broken yet!"

Steve spewed out his stew. "You broke your back?!"

Peggy smiled. "I'm glad you asked. Once upon a time, I was going to do skydiving and I forgot to pull out my parachute until it was too late. The end."

The three others just stared at Peggy. Bucky was the first to react, slowly raising his hands and clapping. "Wow. That was…quite the story. Heh…yeah…"

"Thank you, Bucky. I'm glad someone appreciates it. Now have you finished your stew?"

Bucky nodded. He put his dishes in the sink and returned saying "Steve, it's starting to get late. We should go soon."

Steve looked confused. "Er, why?"

"Because you remember the last time we stayed up too late."

"Wasn't that when I got…"

"Yeah yeah well that was yesterday and it's probably better to get soon good sleep and knock the rest of it out."

Steve frowned even more. "Never knew you actually cared about sleeping. Whatever." He took the last few bites of his stew. "Thanks for dinner, Peggy and Sharon."

"Of course!" Peggy beamed. "Come over any time! We'd love to have you."

"I'll drive you home," offered Sharon.

"No thanks. We'll walk," said Bucky. Sharon nodded. They said their good-byes and Steve and Bucky left.

The minute they were out of sight from the house Steve punched Bucky's metal arm. It hurt him more than Bucky. "What was that for?"

"Did you think it was fun, Mr. Peggy's Ex? Because it seemed like your girlfriend has gone rogue."

"Bucky, you need to act a little more mature! Seriously!"

"Well maybe this will help!" Bucky pulled out a package of Girl Scout cookies. "I stole them from the pantry."

Steve forgot what he was mad about and he and Bucky shared the cookies until they returned home. 

* * *

_**Peggy was right. They still are children.**_

 ** _Suggestions for some wild Steve and Bucky adventures are welcome! Also, please review. It makes me happier which makes it easier to write._**


	13. Steve's Special Talent

_**In honor of Chris Evans dealing with a stupid rumor we're going to give Steve one of Evans' many special talents…**_

 _ **Huge thanks to Becky Barnes for all the suggestions! Some of them are actually being worked on right now. Also, I'm guessing you're an X-Men fan? :)**_

 _ **I don't own anything.**_

* * *

 **XIII. Steve's Special Talent**

"Bucky!" Steve entered the condo with a bag of groceries.

"Yes, Stevalicious?" Bucky sang.

Steve stopped walking. "What did you just call me?"

"Have you ever seen the trending YouTube video 'Twilightlicious?'"

"Why does ever conversation turn into what you're doing? And no. Now can I say something or am I not as important as that Twinklelicking?"

"Fine!" Bucky rolled his eyes. "And maybe you're not as important." Steve went to pinch Bucky but Buck dodged out of the way. "Cool your chickens, Steve. What do you want?"

Steve smiled. "I thought we should watch a movie tonight so I got one from the rental place and five bags of popcorn from Costco. Unless you still have that popcorn from when we watched Captain America and The Winter Soldier."

"No. I don't have any popcorn left. Are it lol when you were out and I watched my favorite movie again. So congrats on thinking of a movie snack. Did you also get some premade s'mores?" When Steve didn't answer Bucky shrugged and went back to tapping on the computer.

"We should watch the movie during dinner," Steve suggested.

"What exactly are we watching?"

"My favorite movie of all time!"

"Some Charlie Chapman movie?"

"Er… no."

Bucky shrugged. "Well, you got me excited. I'll help with dinner." He and Steve created mini spaghetti bowls and tore open all the popcorn bags. They dumped the popcorn into a mechanical barrel that Bucky made. As you ate the popcorn the bottom of the barrel was pushed up two mechanical arms. That way the popcorn was always at the top and easy to reach.

Steve set up the movie while Bucky prepared their eating area. Bucky glanced up at the screen. "Wait. _**THE LITTLE MERMAID?!**_ STEVE what the hell?"

"Language," Steve said bluntly. "And I like this movie."

"But isn't that for six year old girls?"

"You need to stop with the stereotypes, Buck. Plus, have you even seen this before?"

Bucky shook his head. "No."

Steve roughly shook his friend. "Then you need to watch it!"

"Okay, okay sheesh! Stop shaking me so I can watch it without my head spinning!" Steve released Bucky and plopped down on the couch. The movie started and Bucky just stared boredly and nibbled on his spaghetti. Steve was watching with huge enthusiasm.

Bucky was slightly excited to see how the movie would progress. That was until Steve began singing.

 _Fathoms below, below_  
 _From whence wayward Westerlies blow_  
 _Where Triton is king and his merpeople sing_  
 _In mysterious fathoms below_

"What the fuck, Steve?!" Bucky hissed.

 _Heave ho_

"Stop singing!"

 _Heave ho_  
 _Heave ho_  
 _Heave ho_

"Really?"

 _In mysterious fathoms below_

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Great. Apparently this is more than a musical cartoon. It's a musical Steve Rogers cartoon."

Steve had the biggest grin on his face. Bucky kept watching but he wasn't the least bit excited when he heard instruments starting to play again. Then Steve joined in the song.

 _We are the daughters of Triton_  
 _Great father who loves us and named us well_  
 _Aquata, Andrina, Arista, Atina, Adella, Allana_

"What kind of names are those?" Bucky wondered aloud.

 _…Her voice is like a bell_  
 _She's our sister, Ari_

The shell opened and there was nothing inside. Immediately the mermaids broke into a frenzy and Steve was biting his nails. Bucky huffed. He'd rather be watching his favorite movie right now. After all, what could beat Captain America: The Winter Soldier?  
The next song was on Bucky recognized from somewhere. He figured Steve had been humming it at one point. That was probably correct.

 _I wanna be where the people are_  
 _I wanna see_  
 _Wanna see 'em dancin'_  
 _Walkin' around on those_  
 _(Whad'ya call 'em?) oh - feet_

For some reason, Bucky looked down at his feet. He wondered what it would be like to have fins instead of ten toes on a pear shaped thing.

 _Wish I could be_  
 _Part of that world_

Bucky found himself humming along. He quickly stopped himself but Steve egged him on.

 _When's it my turn?_  
 _Wouldn't I love_  
 _Love to explore that shore above?_  
 _Out of the sea_  
 _Wish I could be_  
 _Part of that world_

Steve patted Bucky on the back. "See? Isn't it fun to sing along. Now quiet! Don't talk."

"I'm not-"

"Shh!" Bucky pouted. He saw the crab Sebastian have a huge freak out and forced not to tell anyone about Ariel's secret base. Then Sebastian tried to get Ariel to stay Under the Sea. Somehow Bucky had heard this song before so he could hum with Steve.

 _Under the sea, under the sea_

 _Darlin' it's better down_

 _where it's wetter_

 _Take it from me._

Bucky laughed. This was actually getting quite fun. That was until Steve began bawling over Ariel's collection being burned. "Hey Steve. Calm down. It's just a cartoon."

"He's so evil! All those years of collecting gone within moments!"

"But things get better right?" Wrong thing to ask. Bucky saw the evil worms recruit Ariel and bring her to their master Ursula. "Hey Steve. I think they're going to sing again soon." Maybe that would make him quiet.

Steve stopped crying. He waited a few moments. Then the next song began and Steve went back to singing his heart out. This time Buck couldn't participate.

 _Those poor unfortunate souls_

 _So sad, so true_

 _They come flocking to my cauldron_

 _Crying spells, Ursula, please!_

 _And I help them, yes I do_

While Steve sang Bucky became slightly disgusted by the little worms all around. Then he mentally freaked out when Ariel turned to a human and was on the brink of drowning. HYDRA tried to drown him once and he never forgot, even with all his memory wipes.

Bucky watched as Ariel tried to get the prince to love her. To be honest, it was really awkward. Like, how did they not have forks in the merpeople world?! The father had a huge three prong one!

Bucky decided to stop complaining. He listened to Steve sing a French song. Though he silently hoped the crab would become dinner. No? Dang.

And of course, the love song. Steve just loved to sing these songs.

 _Sha la la la la la, my oh my_

 _Look like the boy too shy_

 _Ain't gonna kiss the girl_

'Maybe I should learn the lyrics and use it on some girl I like. Whoever that is,' Bucky thought.

 _Sha la la la la la, ain't that sad_

'Or Steve. Wait, Steve's my best friend.'

 _Ain't it a shame, too bad_

'But he's pretty awesome. Do I like him as a friend or more?'

 _He gonna miss the girl_

'Eh, this is too much to think about.'

Bucky nearly lost it when the evil Ursula started a love triangle. Better yet, they were going to get married on the same day. Angered, Bucky jumped up and shouted "Evil jerk! Don't steal someone's girlfriend!"

"Yeah!" Steve jumped up and stood next to Bucky. Then he sat back down, seized a handful of popcorn and threw it all in his mouth.

Bucky sat back down too. No use fighting a movie. He couldn't believe he was really into the movie now. What was the Winter Soldier coning to?! Well at least he wasn't trying to kill his best friend.

The climax of the movie arrived. Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky and shook violently as the not-the-least-bit violent battle raged. Bucky just stared straight ahead. He watched as Ursula became Giant Squid. Suddenly he jumped up again, knocking Steve off the couch. "What kind of a defeat was that?!" He screamed.

"Yay! Ursula's dead!" Steve cheered. Bucky face palmed.

The last song had Bucky humming and Steve singing. Then the movie was over. Steve turned off the TV and sniffed. "That was the most moving movie ever."

"Totally," drawled Bucky.

"Come on, Buck. You were humming along."

"But it was because you were singing."

Steve nodded his head. "Uh-huh. And I'm on HYDRA."

"Haha, hilarious." Steve kept staring at Bucky with a suspicious eye. Bucky groaned. "Fine! It was pretty fun. I'll admit. At least the songs. The movie could have been made better."

"Well at least you liked the singing!" Steve got up and ate some more popcorn. "I'm going to go to bed. It's your turn to do the dishes." And he left.

Bucky laughed to himself. He picked up the spaghetti bowls and threw them in the dishwasher. He picked up the empty barrel and hosed it off outside. As he was putting it away he realized something.

He hadn't gotten a single piece of popcorn.

 _ **"Steve!"**_

* * *

 ** _I have not watched The Little Mermaid in years. If I got any details wrong, feel free to let me know._**

 ** _So if anyone doesn't know what the heck I was talking about at the beginning, someone started a rumor about a fan jumping out to kiss Chris Evans and he had a panic attack so some security people had to pull him aside before some supposive climax. Evans then confirmed it wasn't true. So that's why this chapter is about The Little Mermaid. Evans knows all the songs by heart. Something I can't say the same about._**

 ** _Search up Twilightlicious. Then tell me what you thought of it._**

 ** _Also, please review!_**


	14. Inspiration

_**I don't own anything.**_

* * *

 **XIV. Inspiration**

"STEVE!"

Steve screeched and fell off the bed. Bucky was standing over him with a bowl and a whisk. "Geez, Bucky. Have some respect to someone who's still asleep."

"But it's morning."

Steve rose to his feet. "Okay, fine. I'm up. Now what's the whisk and bowl for?"

"I was thinking of baking something! I'm going to make cookies!"

"Those Girl Scout cookies inspired you, didn't they?"

Bucky nodded. "Don't worry. Natasha sent me some recipes and I bought all the ingredients. So I can start immediately!"

"Can I help?"

"Well, why do you think I came in here?" Bucky gave a giant grin.

Steve nodded. "I'll join you. Just choose one of the recipes." While Steve got ready, Bucky went through the dozen recipes Natasha sent.

Bucky pulled out one he thought looked good. "Chocolate chip oatmeal cookies!" He waited until Steve came down. "We're gonna make chocolate chip oatmeal cookies."

"Sounds nutritious," Steve said sarcastically.

Bucky wasn't listening. He separated all the ingredients on the recipe and put the extra ingredients from the other recipes in random cupboards. "Okay…first thing it says is preheat the oven to 350 degrees…" Steve watched him set the oven. Then Bucky dropped two butter sticks in a bowl. He poured the brown and white sugars next.

"Bucky, that's a little too much sugar," Steve quickly said.

"It is?" Bucky looked in the bowl. "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you we're making a double batch."

"A double? Don't you mean half?"

"Nope."

Steve sighed. He added twice as many eggs as the recipe called for while Bucky poured the vanilla. "Now what?" Asked Steve.

Bucky glanced at the recipe. "Now you mix flour, cinnamon, salt, and baking soda in another bowl and I beat this stuff together." He turned his metal hand into a beater.

Steve gawked. "You can change you hand into a beater?!"

"Yep! I'm just that awesome. It's why I have so many fans."

"You. Have. Fans."

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just sift all that stuff together, will you?"

Once Steve was finished Bucky dumped the dry ingredients in with the others and beat it together. Steve looked at the recipe. "So now we make little balls of cookie dough."

"Orrrr we make one BIG cookie!" Bucky squawked. "Why make little round cookies when we could make the squarest looking cookie ever!? I call it the cookie sheet shaped cookie."

"We are not making one big cookie!" Steve snapped. "We're making bite sized-Bucky! You're not supposed to eat raw dough!"

Bucky shrugged. "A small bite won't kill me will it? And Steve, if we made little balls we'd have to put them equally spread across the pan in a 5x4 pattern so they don't overlap each other and then it will take forever to finish because we'll be using multiple cookie sheets versus when we make it one big cookie we only need one sheet."

"But," Steve argued. "If we made one cookie we'd have to cut it each time we'd want a piece and it might not even cook correctly being so thick. If they were little balls they would cook and then all you need to do is reach into the jar and BING! you have a cookie. No extra silverware needed."

"Or you could just rip off part of the giant cookie and get a random size. That way you never know what shape you're going to get."

"But what if it's too hard to break easily and you need a knife?"

"Are we super soldiers or not?"

"Why do we disagree over everything?!"

"You're right!" Bucky shouted. "I have an idea!" He grabbed another bowl and tore the cookie dough roughly in half. He threw the extra half in the other bowl. "You make it your way and I do mine. Whoever gets the better cookie is the correct person and the winner of this argument."

"You're on!" Steve challenged. He began rolling out cookies. Bucky spread his half over the cookie sheet. He popped it in the oven. Steve put his in a minute later.

They waited for the timer to sing. When it went off Steve grabbed an oven mitt and pulled out his pan. The little balls of dough had expanded into beautiful golden domes. Steve let them cool on the top of the stove.

Bucky pulled out his pan next. He had a giant rectangle cookie. Bucky pulled out a few racks and set them on the counter. He dumped his cookie out. "Perfecto!"

Steve sighed. He used the spatula to slide his cookies onto another rack. "Well, we'll find out who made the "perfecto" cookie. Buck, I'll give you one of my round cookies if you give me a piece of your giant cookie.

Bucky tore off a fat piece in the corner and broke it in half. He handed one half to Steve. Steve gave him a dome in return. They bit into their cookies and then took a bite from each other's cookie shapes. They thought for a moment to see who's was better. "It's me," said Bucky. "Mine is better."

"I beg to differ," Steve said. "Mine are clearly better than yours."

"Nuh uh."

"Yuh huh!"

"Nah!"

"Yah!"

"No-ba!"

"Yup-a!"

"Nada, Nix, Zilch, Zero, No, Nope, Negative, Nill, Null!"

"Yadda, Yix, Yilch, One, Yes, Yep, Positive, Yill, Yo!"

Bucky screamed. "Let's settle this over a fight!" Whoever can eat their batch the fastest is the better cook!"

"Agreed!" Steve began shoveling cookies in his mouth. Bucky broke his giant cookie in half and started chewing.

Twenty minutes later Steve and Bucky glared at each other. Bucky was holding an iPhone sized square in his hands while Steve had three cookies. Steve shoved all three cookies in his mouth and cried "I 'un!"

"Nu ferr!" Bucky whined through his mouthful. "My cookies wurr muh betta den yers."

Steve swallowed. "Well, I won the contest so I'm the better cook." Bucky moaned. He finished his cookie. Then he flopped to the floor. "Bucky!" Steve yelped.

"Too many cookies…" Bucky groaned. "My stomach hurts."

Steve flopped down next to Bucky. "Yeah. My pants feel kind of tight too."

"Well I know what will make us feel better," Bucky said brightly.

"What?"

Bucky whipped out a large bag of flavored pecans. "Stuckey's!" He shouted.

"Nooo!" Steve moaned. "No more sweets!"

"Yeah. I agree." Bucky threw the bag. A cat meowed. "So Steve. What are we having for dinner?"

"I don't think we're going to have room for dinner."

* * *

 _ **The funniest part is that they made it out of the same batch of cookie dough.**_

 _ **Due to my iPod being taken away (where I write all my stories) I have decided to end the story here. Just kidding! I have so much planned for these two (or I will when I get some ideas). I have a bike camp this week so I won't be able to post another chapter. Feel free to give me lots of suggestions for this story! I'd love to read them when I get home.**_

 _ **Alright, I'll stop talking. Please review!**_


	15. Metal Man

_**This chapter is based off of an idea from Becky Barnes.**_

 _ **I don't own anything from Marvel.**_

* * *

 **XV. Metal Man**

Bucky woke up. He was on the floor and Steve was hogging the bed again. Sighing, he glanced at the clock. 6:00AM. Might as well get up and start the day.

He headed to the kitchen and poured himself a bowl of Corn Puffs. Bucky ate and thought about what they could do today.

Ideas flew into his brain so fast he had to get a paper to write them all down. And even his metal arm couldn't keep up with his ideas (Bucky could write with his left hand now). One idea stuck out above all the others.

 _ **Have a day off**_

Yeah. That was a good idea. Bucky decided to bring it up to Steve when he got up.

Steve thumped down the stairs. He went straight to the coffee maker and stared at it. Then he raced over to Bucky. He pulled Bucky to his feet by the collar. "Where is my coffee?!"

"I thought you didn't like coffee."

"That was when I first became Captain America! It's been a few years!"

"So it has. Sorry. I didn't make any."

Steve threw Bucky down. He made the coffee while Bucky grabbed his bowl and ran away. Bucky went outside. The day was quite nice. He should just stay out here away from Steve until the morning grumpus was over his grumpiness.

Usually Steve was pretty good in the morning. Maybe it was because he always had his cup of coffee. Of course Bucky never made it for Steve before he was frozen in ice so why should he start now?

Steve eventually got over his morning grumps. Bucky returned inside to find Steve cooking toast. "So Steve. I was thinking we should do something fun today. You know, like take a day off."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Bucky, we don't have jobs. So every day is a day off. And we should spend today looking for a job. The credit card Tony gave me is almost out thanks to our gambling and Tony doesn't want to offer me any more money for some reason."

"Fine," sighed Bucky. "But can we at least find a fun job?"

"Depends on how you think of the job," was Steve's response.

A half hour later they went into town, looking for a job. Bucky had a tendency to be rejected at every place who was hiring. Steve wasn't the best person to be interviewed because of his reputation.

"Why are people so against you?" Bucky asked. "You're Captain America!"

"And Tony Stark is the big cheese in this city," sighed Steve. "They think we're the bad guys now."

Bucky and Steve wandered around until they reached Central Park. They sat on a bench. "We're never going to find a job thanks to Stark," Steve moaned.

"What did Stark say about us?"

"He said that we destroyed his building so he kicked us out of the city and we're not really supposed to return but that rule isn't very strict. He also said some other things about us. At least I think."

Bucky sighed. He slid the Captain America shield off his friend's back and began tossing it. It would hit a tree and boomerang back to him. Bucky did this multiple times.

Suddenly the shield swung around and hit Bucky in the head. Bucky screeched and fell off the bench. "Bucky! That's a weapon! Don't play with it!" Steve scolded.

"I didn't do that!" Bucky shouted.

"I did." The two whipped around to face the owner of the new voice. It was none other than Magneto.

"Magneto!" Bucky pointed his guns at Magneto.

"Wait!" Steve yelled. "Don't kill him! You'll die first!"

"Say whaaaa?" Bucky sang.

"Magneto will just turn the bullet around so it shoots you!"

"Say whaaaaaa?"

Magneto stared at the two. "Are you two always like this?"

Bucky and Steve cocked their head. "Like what?" asked Steve.

"Never mind."

Steve switched topic. "Why are you here, Magneto? Or should I call you Erik?"

"Either one, Captain. It doesn't really matter to me anymore." He waved his hand in the air and shrugged. Bucky's metal arm flew up and punched Bucky in the face.

"Owwie!" Wailed Bucky. "That hurt!"

Steve glared. "Don't mess around with Bucky's arm!"

"I can do what I want unless you can stop me." Magneto raised both hands in the air. Bucky squeaked and flew into the sky. He kicked ferociously. Steve leapt at Magneto and knocked him over. They began to fight on the ground.

Bucky was the one that split them up. "Stop it! Maybe instead of fighting Magneto we should make friends with him!"

"Buck, are you insane?" Hissed Steve.

"A wise idea, my friend!" Magneto stood and patted Bucky on the back. Bucky winced. Not out of pain but more like his 'there's a really old guy patting my back' wince.

Steve was staring boggle-eyed at the two. "You guys are the same height. I think."

"Balderdash!" Laughed Magneto. "This young whippersnapper will never reach my height."

"Please don't call me that," whispered Bucky.

Steve forced a smile on his face. "Since you're here, should we do something together?"

"Let's play frisbee!" Magneto laughed. He flew in a circle.

"We don't have a-," Steve began.

Magneto pressed his finger to Steve's lips. He raised his hand and Steve's shield flew into his hand. "We'll use this! Don't worry, I won't cheat." He threw the shield. Bucky caught it. He threw it to Steve. Steve was hit in the head. "You loose!" Shouted Magneto.

Steve got up. "That is a weapon, you idiot! Not a toy!"

"Whatever." Magneto threw it to Bucky. Bucky grabbed it and swung it back. He and Magneto passed it back and forth until Bucky got a good throw and knocked him out of the air.

"Yeah!" Bucky did a victory dance. "I won!"

"Let's do something not as dangerous," said Steve.

"Come on. Two super soldiers and an X-Men. Is there anything that doesn't come out dangerous?" Magneto laughed.

"Let's play tag!" Said Bucky. "Only rule: no flying out of arm's reach."

"No fair!" Complained Magneto. "If that's so than Rule Two! No grapple hooks or super soldier extendable metal arm tricks!"

"Deal!" Bucky held out his hand and Magneto grabbed it to shake it. Bucky slapped it and laughed. "You're it!" He took off running. Magneto turned around and tagged Steve. Then he flew off.

Steve sighed. "Oh dear." He ran after Magneto and Bucky.

Bucky disappeared between the other peoples in the park. Magneto just floated around high out of Steve's reach unless he jumped. Steve grabbed his shield and threw it at Bucky. The shield whacked his friend in the back of his head and knocked him over. Steve ran up and tapped Bucky's shoulder. "Tag!"

"Hey!" Bucky chased Steve. He stood on a bench, giving him a boost into a tree. Then he leapt out and whacked Magneto's foot. "Tag!"

Magneto waved his hand and Bucky's metal arm slapped its owner's face. "Tag!"

"Cheater!" Shouted Steve.

They played for about an hour. By the time the hour was up Steve, Magneto and Bucky were panting. Thy collapsed on the ground. "Wow," said Bucky. "That was fun."

"Indeed," said Magneto. He sat up and swung his hands back and forth. Bucky's arm flung around, slapping the Winter Soldier. Then he made it hit his face again and again. "Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?" Magneto snickered.

Steve threw his shield at Magneto. Instead the shield swung around the X-Man and knocked Steve over. Magneto used his powers to slide the shield on Steve's arm. Then he hung Steve from a high tree. Next he attached Bucky to a lightning rod across the park.

"What kind of tag is this?" Shouted Bucky.

"This is Magneto's tag!" Magneto laughed. "The game where Magneto always wins!"

Steve shouted something inaudible so Magneto flew over to hear better. "How did you pick me up?!" Demanded the super soldier.

"Iron and other little metals in your blood. It's basically bloodbending."

"Blood what?!"

"Bloodbending. Look it up when you get down." And with that, Magneto flew away laughing up a storm.

Steve reached up and pressed his com link. "Bucky, do you know what bloodbending is?"

"Nope. Are we still playing tag?" Asked Bucky.

"No."

"Then what are we doing?"

"We are trying to get down."

"Where's Magneto?"

"He left."

A long pause ensued. Then Bucky grumbled "I hate X-Men."

"You could almost qualify as an X-Man because of your arm," Steve pointed out.

"Why can't I be a Y-Man?"

"Um…"

"Forget it." Bucky stayed quiet for a little while and Steve wondered what he was doing. Suddenly Bucky spoke again. "Steve? How are we getting down?"

* * *

 _ **Bloodbending is from the TV Avatar: The Last Airbender or it's sequal The Legends of Korra.**_

 _ **I was rereading some of the first chapters of this story and there's quite a few mistakes. I might redo them so if you get an update for an earlier chapter, it probably needed some work.**_

 _ **I won't be posting a lot for the next 2 1/2 weeks because I have relatives visiting.**_ __

 _ **Please review or suggest! I don't see any end to this story yet. :)**_


	16. Literal History Lesson

_**An idea from Loki mumu. This was so much fun to write it was broken into a few parts!**_

 _ **I don't own anything.**_

* * *

 **XVI. Literal History Lesson**

 **"STEVE! STEVE!"** Bucky burst into the kitchen.

 _ **"WHAT!"**_

"I got a job!"

Steve cheered. "Congratulations, Buck! What is it?"

"I'm a civil engineer!" Bucky held up a little card that confirmed his name and a bunch of other important information. "This is actually a medical card if something falls on top of me."

"Which you'd probably survive anyway," Steve said. "I should keep looking. How did you get it?"

"My boss, Stan Lee, runs a civil engineering company for super heroes or villains who who can use their powers to help people. And I qualified!"

Steve smiled. "That's awesome!"

"You should go look for a job while I work on a bridge. Coincidentally, it's one of the bridges I broke when I was against you, Natasha, and Sam."

"Well don't let me keep you," Steve said. "Good luck!"

"You too!" Bucky skipped off.

Steve went around the city, looking for a job that would actually want him. Nothing. Tony really had something against him.

So Steve decided to build something. He went to a junk yard and began building a circle frame. He added feet so it could stand upright. Then he bought some wires and stringed them across the open part of the circle. Steve then built a box at the bottom of the circle. He rolled it home and began working on the electronics.

He was nearly finished wiring when Bucky returned home. "Whatcha building?" Bucky sang.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"Nah, I get off at 5:30."

Steve glanced at the digital clock in the kitchen. 17:32. Bucky must have ran home. "I'm building a circle which I'm hoping to fire some sort of power source out of it. Like an arc reactor."

"Lemme help with the wiring." Bucky hopped down and began to wire it totally different. Suddenly he plugged in the device. "Uh oh."

"What did you do?" Steve cried.

The wires lit up with a light blue electricity. Suddenly a vortex appeared in the middle of the frame. It sucked Bucky and Steve in.

They landed in a concrete prison like place. "Ow!" Bucky and Steve yelled. It took them a moment to come to their senses. Then they heard some grunts coming from a room. Steve and Bucky peeked in.

Steve saw another Bucky. He was sparring with a 7 year old Natasha Romanoff. She was kicking at another Bucky, who was blocking with ease. Suddenly the other Bucky swung around and grabbed her neck with his metal arm. He slammed her to the ground. Steve made a motion to step out and stop him from hurting her but the Bucky that came with him stopped him.

* * *

 ** _Author's Note: This is already getting exhausting calling them the Bucky that came with Steve and the Bucky fighting a 7 year old Natasha. I'm just going to call the Bucky from the portal Bucky while the other Bucky will be the Winter Soldier._**

* * *

Bucky pulled Steve back. "We're in the past!" He hissed. "This is the Red Room!"

"The what?" Steve whispered back.

"The place where they raised assassins like Natasha and me."

The Winter Soldier released Natasha. She gasped and lay there, defeated. "Get up," he said roughly. "You can't stay down forever."

Natasha nodded. She got up. Then she began to kick again. But the Winter Soldier defeated her again. This time he twisted her arm and spun her through the air. Then he threw her to the ground.

"You're really mean to Natasha!" Steve muttered. "Did you ever learn to teach a lady correctly?"

"Hey! I was out of my mind!" Bucky snapped.

Natasha perked her head up. "Do you hear that?"

"Yeah," said the Winter Soldier. He grabbed Natasha's arm and yanked her up. Then he marched towards Bucky and Steve's hiding spot.

"Go! Go!" Bucky hissed.

"Where?" Steve hissed back.

Bucky pushed past Steve and ran down the halls. He jumped up and grabbed a roof support. It was then Steve realized how low the roof was. Bucky swung up into the supports. Steve copied. Bucky rolled to the side where it was darker. He and Steve lay on opposite sides, holding their breath.

The Winter Soldier appeared below them. Natasha followed after him. "I don't see anything, Protocol 1."

'Protocol 1?' Steve mouthed. Bucky glared.

"Keep and eye out," The soldier commanded. "They could be anywhere." He walked off.

Natasha stood below them. She looked scared. She took a few deep breaths then reached behind her and pulled out a little pistol. She pointed it towards the roof. Bucky realized what she was about to do. He switched his hand to a screwdriver and began to unscrew part of the roof.

Natasha heard the sound of his hand converting. "P-Protocol 1?" She called. "I think I hear something!"

Steve slipped over to where Bucky was. Bucky climbed out onto the roof and Steve followed. They peeked into the hole and saw the Winter Soldier return. "What is it, Natalia?" He said coldly.

"I heard something! Up above!" Natasha pointed up. "Protocol 1! There's a hole in the roof!"

"Oh shit!" Bucky said quietly. He and Steve scampered across the roof. They dropped to the ground on the other side and hid just under the overhanging shingles.

A moment later they heard a grapple hook zip shut and heavy feet land on the roof. They heard lighter feet running along the top. "I don't see anything," said Natasha.

"Someone was here," growled the Winter Soldier. "Look at the shingles, Natalia. There's slight destruction from them and it's not weather destruction."

"It feels very new," Natasha said.

"Because it is. Search the roof."

Bucky and Steve glanced at each other as they heard the Winter Soldier walk to the other side of the roof. But Natasha was heading their direction. "Get down!" Bucky growled.

"Why?" Asked Steve.

Bucky forced him to lay down. He yanked out his Winter Soldier goggles and put them on. Then he squeezed Steve's neck with his fingers. Steve began to choke. Natasha peeked over the edge. She watched as Bucky choked Steve to near death. Then Bucky punched Steve in the forehead, knocking him out. He glanced up at Natasha and nodded.

Natasha smiled. She used her little grapple hooks to go down to him. "You got him!" She cheered.

"No more intruders will come on my watch," Bucky said roughly.

Natasha hugged him. "You're the best!"

"This is not time to be soft," said Bucky. He actually liked little Natasha being so soft. Now she was just a mean girl. He reluctantly pushed her away. "We need to look for more. Go this way around the building and I will go this way. We'll look for more. Shout if you see any more."

"Okay!" Natasha skipped off. Bucky grabbed Steve and pulled him into the building. He went back to where the portal had dropped them off. But there was nothing.

"Shoot!" Bucky grumbled. "How do we get back? Steve! Get up!" Bucky woke his friend.

Steve rubbed his head. "You punched me! Why?"

"So we don't alter history," Bucky answered.

Suddenly they heard a CRACK! above them. Grown Natasha Romanoff fell next to them. "Hey boys," she said.

"Natasha, we have a big problem," said Bucky. "We're in the Red Room when you were 7!"

Natasha blinked. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Wait am I missing something?!" Steve cried.

"Protocol 1! I don't see anyone else!" Called little Natasha.

"Then you should get going to ballet lessons," said the Winter Soldier. "I'm going to train Protocol 2."

"Okay!" Little Natasha hopped down into the building and ran right past Bucky, Natasha and Steve, who were piled on top of each other in a dark corner.

Steve watched as Little Natasha went by. "You were awfully cute," he said. "Little Innocent Natasha turned into Big Kick-Ass Natasha."

"Are we just going to call us Natasha and Natasha or is it going to be Little Natasha and Big Natasha?" Asked Natasha.

Bucky thought. "We'll call Little Natasha what my past self is calling her; Natalia. You're Black Widow/Natasha."

"Good," said Black Widow. "Because I'm calling your past self the Winter Soldier and you are Bucky the Jerk."

Bucky yelped. "You're mean!"

"Shhh!" Steve slapped Bucky.

They heard a gun click. "Who's there?" Called the Winter Soldier. They could hear him striding down in their direction.

Natasha shoved Bucky. "Go! Go!" She urged.

"Where?" Steve cried.

Bucky unscrewed one of the windows and leapt out. Natasha and Steve followed. They ran behind a large truck. A moment later, the Winter Soldier jumped out the window too. "Show yourself, you little fuckers!"

Steve was about to say "Language!" but Natasha put her hand over his mouth. The Winter Soldier began inspecting the trucks. Natasha released Steve and rolled under a truck. Steve dove behind another truck while Bucky jumped on top.

'This is great!' Thought Bucky. 'I just might be killed by my past self!

* * *

 _ **Yes, I had to throw Stan Lee in there. Because why not.**_

 _ **Also, this is slightly more serious than some other chapters I've written but now you'll get to see my headcanon of the Red Room!**_

 _ **Please review and/or suggest!**_


	17. The Soldier & Nat vs Steve & Friends

_**I am typing this on an iPad so expect a few mistakes. XD**_

 ** _I don't own Marvel or any of its partners._**

* * *

 **XVII. The Winter Soldier and Natalia Romanova vs. Steve and Friends**

Bucky, Natasha and Steve lay under a tree, snoring. Bucky was the first to wake. It took him a moment to remember where he was. He sat up and looked at the Red Room building (he couldn't remember what it was actually called). That had been one of the craziest escapes he had ever witnessed or had been in. The three of them had been dodging the Winter Soldier through the trucks when Steve threw his shield and hit the Winter Soldier in the face. It enough of a distraction for the trio to get over the barbed wire fence and run far away.

The sun began to come up. "I hope I don't get fired," Bucky mumbled. "I like my job but unless we don't find a way out of here I'm screwed."

"Who are you talking to?" Natasha asked.

"Myself. About my job."

"Gollum! Gollum!" Natasha croaked.

This woke Steve. "Natasha! Are you okay!?"

"God dammit, Steve. Have you never watched Lord of the Rings?!"

Steve said nothing. Bucky watched as a bunch of young boys and girls came outside to spar each other. He saw himself. The Winter Soldier was standing next to a tall woman with short red hair.

"Hey! I aged!" Natasha said. "I think I'm 15. Bucky, do you have binoculars?"

"I have a fully charged iPhone," Bucky said. He turned it on and handed it to Natasha. She used the camera to zoom in and look closer.

Natasha smiled. "Yep. I'm 15. I remember this day. It was the first day I actually beat you in sparring. After that I was always better than you." ** _  
_**

"You wanna go one on one now?!" Bucky challenged.

"No let's see this," said Steve.

Natalia and the Winter Soldier went to one side of the building where no one else was. They began to fight. Both were incredibly agile. Bucky grabbed the phone from Natasha and looked through the camera. "I'm using a stunt knife."

"A what?" Steve asked.

"A stunt knife," Natasha said. "It's a blunt knife but it's weight and shaped correctly so that it looks and feels real. They used it all the time in our sparring."

Natalia kicked the knife out of the soldier's hand. Then she hooked her legs on his body and swung around. She slammed the Winter Soldier to the ground. The soldier slipped up and knocked her down. Natalia rolled away from his menacing metal arm that was trying to kill her. Suddenly she grabbed it and pulled him to the ground. As he went down she struck her fist into his back.

"Ooh!" Bucky cringed. "That's gotta hurt!" Steve and

* * *

Natasha as crowded around him to see through the phone.

The Soldier got back up. Natalia yanked out a bungee cord with two bulbs at each end. She twisted around the Winter Soldier and tied his arms together. Then she caught her heel into the crook of his neck. She pulled him to the ground again. She stepped on him.

The Winter Soldier pulled off his face mask and began coughing. Natalia yanked him up by his metal arm and untied him. Natasha threw a little device towards them so they could hear the conversation. "You did good," the Winter Soldier said.

"Thanks," said Natalia. She raised the Soldier's goggles. They both glanced around, looking for anyone who might be watching. Then the Soldier and Natalia crashes their lips together and began making out.

"Gross!" Bucky moaned. "Did you remember this?"

"Somehow, no," said Natasha. "Yuck."

Steve was a little of a loud mouth. ** _"YOU KISSED NATASHA?! WHAT THE HELL, BUCKY?!"_**

The Winter Soldier and Natalia immediately pushed away from each other. "There they are!" Natalia exclaimed. "Protocol 1, give me a boost!" They ran up to the barbed wire fence. The Soldier spun around and crouched to the ground. Natalia ran forwards and stepped into his cupped hands. He hoisted her into the air. Natalia flipped over the barbed wire fence and parkour rolled on the other side. The Winter Soldier just climbed up with a grapple hook.

"Run!" Bucky shouted. He, Natasha and Steve took off at full speed. Almost immediately, Natasha was abandoned by the two super soldiers. The Winter Soldier streaked by Natasha and left Natalia.

"Go faster!" Screeched Steve.

"I'm trying!" Bucky yelled. Unfortunately, Steve left Bucky in the dust.

Meanwhile Natasha was running from Natalia. She threw a bungee cord at the girl but Natalia jumped over it. Natalia tossed two paralyzing disks. Natasha shot her Widow stingers at the disks. Then she threw herself to the ground and tripped Natalia. Natasha flipped up at the same time Natalia got up. They began to fist fight

The Winter Soldier caught up to Bucky. Bucky converted his arm to a real knife. Of course, so did his past self. They began to try and slice each other apart. The Winter Soldier suddenly grabbed Bucky and yanked him towards him so that they met eye to eye. "Wait a minute. You're me!" He dropped Bucky.

"Yeah, and you're me," Bucky said.

"But how?"

Bucky shrugged. "That's not really important now. But since I have your attention, I have something to tell you. You're going to betray Natasha-I mean,

Natalia- because you end up liking your best friend instead."

The Winter Soldier blinked. "What are you talking about? Natalia _**IS**_ my best friend!"

"You and Natalia get into a big fight and you fall in love with someone known as Steve Rogers."

"Isn't Steve a boy's name?"

"Yeah. So?"

"So I fall in love with a boy."

"Pretty much."

The Winter Soldier shot towards Bucky. "Liar! I will never part from Natalia!" Bucky ducked his punch and shot a sleeping dart at the Soldier. He fell down, snoring.

"Was I really that crazy in love with Natasha?" Bucky asked. "Sheesh." He went over to where Natasha and Natalia were fighting. "Nat, duck." Natasha ducked and Bucky stunned Natalia. "Good night."

Natasha smiled. "Thanks. Hey, where's Steve?"

"No idea. Steve? STEVE?"

Where was Steve this whole time? Well, he ran fast enough that he ripped open a portal for himself and ended back up in the present time in front of the portal. Magneto was floating in front of the portal.

"Magneto!" Steve shouted.

"How does it feel to know that Bucky once kissed a red head?" Magneto laughed.

Steve growled. "Bucky is mine! I will make him! Natasha's reign will end!"

Wolverine appeared from behind the portal. "Well why don't you tell him how you feel?"

Steve opened his mouth to say something but then he realized he had never even attempted to tell Bucky his feelings. He dissolved into loud groans. "You mean you never even hinted?!" Shouted Magneto.

"Well tell him the next time you see him, Bub!" Logan coaxed. "Before Natasha's reign become a real thing."

Steve grit his teeth. "You're going down, Natalia Romanova!"

* * *

 ** _Steve vs. Natasha over a happening in the past. Yikes. Well let's see where this goes!_**

 ** _Please review!_**


	18. Bucket Head Nobrains

_**Yay, I can finally get some time to write more! Well as long as I don't fall asleep writing first.**_

 _ **Is it weird that I'm really happy I can finally write over 1000 words each chapter without making it sound like I was forcing myself to? lol**_

 _ **I don't own anything.**_

* * *

 **XVIII. Bucket Head Nobrains**

"Skiddily dee. Listen to me."

"No," said Natasha. She hugged her knees against her chest. "I'm not listening to you."

Bucky sighed. "Nat, let it go. We were in love in the past and just shared a little kiss-"

 ** _"A LITTLE KISS?! WE WERE MAKING OUT!"_**

"Okay…a big kiss…either way, it's the past and unless you're not going to move past it I suggest you try and get your interests in another man. Because I have my own interests."

Natasha rolled her eyes and said sarcastically "I'm sure it's some beautiful woman that I couldn't possibly meet the expectations to yadda yadda yadda."

"Actually, it's not." Bucky plucked a piece of grass and put the end in his mouth. "But you still can't meet the expectations. Say, Nat, got any advice for me on how to hook someone?"

"Didn't you just say you had someone? You don't need to hook anymore."

Bucky realized she was right. "I meant how to tell someone you like them."

"No. But maybe you can ask your past self."

Bucky jumped up. "That's a great idea! I'll ask him how to handle tough situations with love!"

"Bucky, you bucket head! I was being sarcastic!"

But Bucky didn't care. He took a few steps over to where the Winter Soldier and Natalia were quietly sleeping. Bucky pulled the grass out of his mouth and put it between his fingers. He whistled with it in the Winter Soldier's face.

"AUGH!" Natalia and the Soldier jolted awake. When they realized they were tied to each other they glared at Bucky. "What do you want?" Snapped Natalia.

Bucky laughed. "Nat! You're older!"

Natasha came over to stand next to Bucky. "I think I'm about 23 now."

"Woo! A de-deaging scene!"

"Shut up, soldier!" Snapped the Winter Soldier. "How did you even tie us up? And if you're the future how are you here? Whatever it is, you won't win if we had to fight. Natalia and I are stronger than you and your crazy hairdooed woman and we will-"

Bucky gave a low whistle. "Folks, this is our talkative one. The Winter Soldier!"

"And folks, this is the comedic relief and idiot, Bucky Nobrains," Natasha sighed.

"Did you just say Nobrains?"

"It's better than Barnes."

"How?!"

"Because I have to put up with you and your stupidity!"

"Yeah? Well maybe your name is Natasha Romanawful!"

"You're awful!"

"You're full of awful!"

Natasha screeched and pulled out some of her hair. "I'm calling you Bucket Head Nobrains from now on!"

"Well if that's the case I'm calling you Nadumba Romanawful!"

"Psyche!" Shouted Natalia and bopped Natasha and Bucky's heads together. The two collapsed and the Winter Soldier tied them up.

Natasha was dizzy but Bucky was just fine. "Hey! How did you get out!?" He cried. "Those knots were supposed to be the best knots in the world."

The Winter Soldier collapsed the knife extension on his arm. "Amateur knots."

"Don't you call me an amateur, you past jerk!"

Natalia groaned. She face palmed and shook her head. "Do we really turn into these idiots? My god, if this is what I become I'm going to shoot myself now."

The soldier glanced at Natasha and Bucky with a look of disgust. Then his eyes narrowed and he grit his teeth. "Well I need to teach myself a lesson!" The Winter Soldier tackled Bucky. Bucky screamed and kicked frantically.

"Nat! Help me!"

Natasha laughed. "Serves you right, Barnes."

"Don't think you're getting away easily!" Natalia yelled. She kicked Natasha in the gut. "Let's do this the Red Room style!"

Natasha grinned. "You're on!"

* * *

Steve carried part of the portal over to Erik, who used his powers to put it in place and shoot screws in to keep it still. Logan was working on the wiring. "Hey, Bub. Pass me the pliers."

Steve kicked the pliers to Logan. "How's the wiring?"

"Not as fun as I thought it would be," said Logan. "Copper wire and dikes."

"Well you were never good at wiring, to be honest," said Erik.

Logan snarled. "You wanna go for a round?!"

"Bring it!"

 _ **"THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME TO FIGHT!"**_ Steve roared. Logan and Erik stared at him, frozen in a fighting stance. "We have two people to rescue from the past. We have to fix this portal."

Erik huffed. "Fine. We shall finish the portal and then go for a round."

"You got it, Bub!" Said Logan. And they went back to working.

Steve wondered how Bucky was doing? Was he hurt? Was he alive? Was he making out with Natasha? No! That last one couldn't be true. Unless… Unless Bucky didn't feel the same way Steve felt about him. Why did they have to witness that piece of the past? Steve bit his lower lip to keep from screaming and going berserk. Natasha was probably taking advantage of this moment and making Bucky slowly fall for her. Then she'd turn around and do something awful to him-maybe trying to kill him-like she did in the past. She really was a Black Widow.

"Aand done!" Logan said enthusiastically as he connected the last of the wires. Erik and Steve finished the frame of the portal at the same time. "Woo! Alright! Portal's finished and we're good to go!" Logan pumped his fist in the air. Then he froze. "Um… now what?"

"That's simple," said Erik. "We leave this to Steve. Let's go brawl!"

Steve stopped them. "I need you to keep the portal open until I return."

"We got more important things to do than watch a portal, Bub!"

"If you don't I'll be stuck on the other side forever," Steve explained. Logan grumbled some curse words. "Language."

"Fine," Erik said. "We'll watch your portal and then we'll do our unfinished business."

Steve smiled. "Thanks!" He turned on the portal. Immediately a strong gust of wind blasted the three to the ground. Steve got up and began to walk against it. "Hang on Bucky," he muttered. "I'm coming."

* * *

Bucky ducked as Natasha swung over him so she could punch the Winter Soldier in the face. Natalia went to hit Bucky but he knocked her over instead. "So I guess you finally decided to work with me," Bucky jeered.

"Shut up, Barnes."

"Ooh! Natasha all gwumpy! Is she jealous dat she doesn't get a nwice kiss fwom da Winta Soldia?"

Natasha smirked. "Don't worry. I did. Natalia's the proof."

Natalia knocked Bucky over and stamped on him. **"OWWIE!"**

"You become this annoying?" She hissed. "Geez, it's a wonder how we're still friends in the future!"

"Agreed," said the Winter Soldier. Natasha suddenly took out the ground and pinned him.

Enraged, Natalia left Bucky and kicked at Natasha, who blocked with ease. Bucky got up and continued holding down the Soldier. His efforts ended up failing when the Soldier plucked him off like he was a piece of grass. "Nooo!" Whined Bucky.

The Soldier snickered. "Such a pity that you're so weak. I really thought you would be better in the future but you're not more than an annoying little kid."

"We'll see who's the annoying one, Mr. I'm-So-Perfect-Because-I'm-Secretly-Dating-The-Woman-Who-Will-Try-And-Kill-Me-Later-In-Life!"

The Soldier punched Bucky in the stomach. "You know nothing about Natalia!"

"I'm the proof of the future and she tries to strangle me on a highway!" Bucky shot back.

Natasha and Natalia had slowed their fighting to watch Bucky and the Winter Soldier. "Men. I'll never understand them," said Natasha.

"Then can be pretty weird sometimes," Natalia agreed. "Sometimes I wonder-hey, do you hear that?"

Natasha lifted her head slightly to catch the sound waves better. "It's a whooshing sound."

"And it's coming from behind us." Natalia turned towards the sound. "W-what is that?"

"Oh my god," said Natasha. "It's a vortex. And it doesn't look good!" The purple spiral began to grow wiser and wider. It began to suck wind into it. "Run!" Shouted Natasha. She and Natalia began running.

They whizzed by Bucky and the Winter Soldier, who were wrestling in the ground. "Hey! Where are you two going?" Bucky called. He heard the whooshing sound and looked. _**"AAAIIEEEEE!"**_ Bucky sprang up and ran as fast as he could. He passed the two Black Widows. So did the Winter Soldier, who was close in pursuit.

The vortex got bigger and bigger. Natalia slipped and fell. The vortex began to pull her in. She clawed desperately at the ground, looking for a handhold. "Protocol 1!" She wailed.

The Winter Soldier gasped. "Natalia!" He cried and turned back.

"Aw come on!" Bucky shouted.

Natalia was pulled into the air. Natasha grabbed her wrist and tried to pulled her back down. The Winter Soldier wrapped his arms around Natasha's waist and helped her. "Bucky! Help!" Natasha snapped.

Bucky wrapped his right arm around the Winter Soldier's waist and dug his metallic infers into the ground. But he could feel them being pulled anyway. "Dammit!" Bucky howled. "I can't keep us still!"

"Think positive! Not negative, you bucket head!" Natasha shouted. Suddenly she lost her footing and was pulled up. The Winter Soldier got dragged up too. The wind suction was too much for one person to keep holding on and Bucky's fingers were uprooted.

 _ **"AAAHHHHHHH!"**_ All four screamed as they lost hold on each other and were pulled into the vortex.

* * *

Steve looked at the portal. "Hang on, Bucky! I'm coming!" He said said as he pushed against the wind. Suddenly it stopped blowing and Steve lost his balance and fell. He got back up and walked to the portal. One more step and he would be thrust back into the past.

Steve took a deep breath and lifted his leg. Natalia came flying out and landed on him. Natasha fell on her past self. The Winter Soldier dropped on Natasha and Bucky flopped on the Soldier. Steve was crushed at the bottom.

"I'm alive!" Bucky screeched. "Hooray!"

"Can't…breathe!" Wheezed Natalia.

Steve heard Bucky's voice and sprang up, throwing all of them. "BUCKY!" He ran over and hugged the Winter Soldier, who struggled to get away. Natalia looked horrified.

Bucky laughed. "Steve, wrong guy."

The Winter Soldier pushed Steve off him. "What the hell!?" He whipped out knife. Steve squeaked and ran away as fast as he could. The Winter Soldier followed.

Natalia pulled out a gun. "I've had enough of purple swirly vortexes for one day. She shot the wires. The vortex shut down.

"No, dammit! That took a lifetime to complete!" Logan wailed.

"Yeah, and how are you going to get back to your time frame?" Bucky asked.

Natalia's eyes widened. "Oh shit."

* * *

 ** _Ooh Natalia just trapped herself and the Winter Soldier in the present time frame! Sorry for dragging this Red Room idea out. Don't worry, they'll be sent back to their correct time frame somehow (honestly, I have no idea how though)._**

 ** _I just figured out the other day that I have more than 60 stories that I've written (chapters or oneshots) but only a handful actually get published. The rest get bits and pieces taken from them to turn into other stories, like this chapter. I think I'm stuck in a writing circle._**

 ** _Anyway, please review and suggest._**


	19. Optimistic Bucky

_**Hooray! I'm not dead! Now you can enjoy the next chapter of this wtf story!**_

 _ **I don't own anything.**_

* * *

 **XIX. Optimistic Bucky**

"Let me get this straight. We're stuck with these jerks until we can fix the portal?!" Steve yelled.

Natalia gulped. "Yeah…you're stuck with us," she said in a tiny voice.

Bucky slapped Steve on the back. "Steve! Think positively! We can show them all kinds of fun things we do in this world!"

Steve face palmed. Bucky was just too optimistic. Natalia, Natasha, the Winter Soldier (who Bucky had been nicknamed Toasty), Logan, and Erik looked confused. "What do you mean?" Asked the Winter Soldier.

About an hour later Bucky was using Natasha's credit card to buy everyone cotton candy. Natalia and the Winter Soldier choked on it. "S-s-so s-sweet…" whimpered Natalia.

"I know, right! Guys, this is an amusement park!"

"Bucky, how come we rode a flying car here when we could have walked?" Steve asked.

"Because we're in California! Stark Technology car. Stole some tech from Tony once and never did give it back. Anyway this car flies so the only thing we need to worry about are birds and slurry bombers!"

Logan's jaw dropped. _ **"** **WE WENT TO CALIFORNIA!?**_ Mind blown, Bub."

Bucky snickered. He skipped off. "Let's see how they do on a roller coaster!"

They waited in line for the biggest roller coaster Bucky could find. When it was there turn to get in Bucky said "Steve! Natalia! Toasty! Ride with me!"

"Just call him Protocol 1 if you don't want to use Winter Soldier," said Natalia.

"Um…nah!" Bucky laughed. He, Steve, Natalia and the Winter Soldier got in a car while Natasha, Logan and Erik got in the one behind them.

Bucky thoroughly enjoyed himself. Maybe it was because he choose the very front car. Steve nearly threw up and Natalia was clinging on to the Winter Soldier like her life was going to end today. Natasha, Logan and Erik just screamed.

"This is great!" Bucky howled over the wind. "What do you think of the 21st century?"

"If Captain America hadn't taken my weapons away and you didn't disable my arm conversions and extensions, you'd be strangled right now!" The Winter Soldier shouted.

"That's the spirit, Toasty!" Bucky laughed. "You and I are so alike!"

At the end Bucky was the only one that wanted to go again. The minute he suggested it everyone else gave him a death glare.

"Let's do something more interesting," said the Winter Soldier. He looked around and saw a shooting game. "A shoot off. That I can do."

"Same," said Natalia, following his eyes.

Bucky smiled. "Shoot off it is!" They went over to the booth. Natasha payed for the game and the seven of them got a Nerf gun.

Logan and Erik were terrible shots. Natalia and Steve didn't do much better. The real contest was between Natasha, the Winter Soldier and Bucky. "Damn, these bullets are light," the Winter Soldier muttered.

"It's foam!" Said Bucky. He fired and hit the target. "Whoop! Whoop!"

Natasha had no problem hitting the target multiple times. The Winter Soldier shot her bullets, making them fall off. "Too easy," he said.

Suddenly Natalia screamed. "What is that?!"

Bucky looked over her shoulder. "It's someone pretending to be a clown.

 _ **"SHOOT IT!"**_

Bucky tore the Nerf gun from her hands. "No. He's not the target. The little target thing behind you is. And you can't have this gun. It's this man's."

Natalia sulked. Logan decided to try and interest the assassins from the past in something different. "Let's get some food, Bubs."

"Hot dog!" Steve shouted. "We shall get hot dogs! Tab's on Natasha."

"Get a job, will you!?" Natasha roared.

They went to the nearest concession stand (after Bucky, Natasha and the Winter Soldier all got a prize for shooting the target) and order hot dogs.

"What is in this stuff?" Asked Natalia.

"Pig," said the Winter Soldier casually.

Natalia stared at the hot dog. "Are you serious?"

"Yep."

"Ugh." Natalia put the hot dog down and didn't bother eating. "Can't we just go home to our timeline already?"

"Problem," said Bucky. "We don't know-"

 _ **"WE KNOW, TOASTY!"**_ Natalia and the Winter Soldier shouted. "This is all one of your faults," added the Winter Soldier.

Logan and Erik immediately pointed at Steve. Natasha and Bucky pointed at each other. Steve pointed at Logan, who shot out his claws. "Hey wait a minute!" Bucky cried. "My name is Toasty."

"Well neither is mine!" Spat the Winter Soldier

"Natalia's right," said Erik. "We should just go home and chill. This place is a little weird."

"And it's burning through my credit card," Natasha muttered.

"You guys are no fun," Bucky whined. "I say we stay longer."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Buck, we can come back again. Just you and me."

"Well then at least go one the Merry-Go-Round before we go."

The next thing everyone knew, they were doing as Bucky said. Bucky and Steve were having the most fun, Logan, Natasha and Erik just sat, and the Winter Soldier and Natalia watched the mechanics. "I told you this would be good!" Bucky called to them.

"You know what I think is ironic?" Said Natasha. "The fact the Bucky's sitting on a deer and Logan's on a wolverine."

"You know what I think is hilarious?" Logan snickered. "The fact that you're sitting on a mermaid."

"It was the only one left near you guys!" Natasha scowled as Logan and Bucky fist bumped.

Finally they finished riding in wavy circles (or at least that's what Natalia called the Merry-Go-Round). Steve and the others dragged Bucky out of the park. They piled in the car and flew back to New York. On their way, they dropped Logan and Erik in the Canadian woods so they could fight over Logan's wiring job.

Natasha was the next to be dropped off. She didn't even hesitate to run inside Avenger's tower.

Steve, Bucky, the Winter Soldier, and Natalia went to the little condo to chill out. "Well this was an interesting day," said Natalia.

"Best part? It's not over yet!" Bucky squealed. "Watch this!" Bucky pulled out a deck of cards and did a magic trick on Natalia. Natalia punched him for tricking her. The Winter Soldier went exploring around the condo and Steve followed, giving him s tour and also making sure nothing got destroyed.

Suddenly the doorbell rang. The Winter Soldier and Natalia whipped out their guns. Bucky told them to lower the weapons while Steve opened the door. "Hi Dr. Strange."

"Yo," said Dr. Strange. "Is Bucky around?"

"In the flesh!" Bucky shouted.

"Sorry for the guns pointed at you," said Steve. "We have two visitors from the past that we're housing until we can get them back to their time frame."

Dr. Strange shrugged. "I could do it myself." He studied the two. Then he raised his hands and screamed "Spirit of Wattomb! Turn back time until these two are in their correct timeframe." Strange flung his hands around and suddenly he, the Winter Soldier and Natalia disappeared.

"Aw, I'm gonna miss Toasty," Bucky whined.

"Relax," said Steve. "If you want to go back just rebuild the portal."

Suddenly Strange reappeared. "Done!

Steve gave a huge grin. "Thank you so much, Dr. Strange!"

"What exactly did you come by to say anyway?" Bucky wondered aloud.

Strange pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Bucky. "You missed a few days of work. Your boss says you have to work overtime to make up for the lost time."

Bucky burst into tears. Steve rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Dr. Strange."

"Just call me Strange or Stephen. Dr. Strange is a bit of mouthful." He floated a few feet away from them. "Well, I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow at work, Bucky." Strange teleported away.

"Now I know why I was unemployed for a while," Bucky moaned. "I always had something crazy happen to me the second day."

* * *

 _ **Has anyone seen the Dr. Strange trailer?! SO COOL! Also, I don't know a whole lot about him so I have no idea if he can go back in time or not.**_

 _ **Also, I've been to an amusement park once and I don't remember much about it. Correct me if I got something wrong.**_

 ** _Please review and suggest!_**


	20. Bucky's Pranks and Steve's Law Breaking

_**School has started the homework has ris' I wonder where my inspiration is.**_

 ** _Oh wait, here it is! And... now it's gone. Lol._**

 ** _I don't own Marvel or Disney._**

* * *

 **XX. Bucky's Pranks and Steve's Law Breaking**

For the next weekend, Bucky made up the time he blew off work. He wasn't very good friends with any of the other workers. He figured it was because he was responsible for the destruction of this bridge. What he didn't know was that he was too insane for anyone except Steve to get along with.

Bucky lifted the end of a metal beam with Thor and Jane's daughter, Torunn (yes Thor and Jane had a daughter). The other end was picked up by Colossus and Gambit. They carried it to the middle of the bridge, where there was a giant gap between the two sides. Torunn flew underneath the beam and held it up as the other three pushed it across the gap.

The beam finally reached its destination. Scarlett Witch used her powers to screw it into place. "Alright!" Shouted Torunn. "Nice work everyone!"

Bucky smirked. "The best part? We have to do it all over again."

"We know that, Bucky," sighed Gambit. He turned to Colossus and whispered "Why did out team get stuck with him? Why couldn't he be with Dr. Strange and the other team?"

"Because that's what the boss said," muttered Colossus. "Our team is the heavy lifting and the other does the stabilizers."

Bucky didn't hear a single bit of what they were saying. He was too busy singing "The Cup Song." He had been singing it all week and Colossus, Gambit, Torunn, and Wanda were seriously considering whether they should slap him or not.

Suddenly a horn blew. Everyone finished what they were doing before heading off back home. Bucky turned to leave but his shoulder was grabbed. It was the boss, Calvin Gringridge. "Hi boss!" Bucky said happily.

"Hello Bucky. Glad to see you've finally caught up to your hours."

"You can count on me to do it!"

Calvin nodded. "So I can. Listen, I need you to order these parts for the bridge. The site and company information is on the other side. Don't loose it!"

"Got it!" Bucky put the paper in his pocket.

"Also, here's your paycheck for the week. I'll be seeing you tomorrow."

Bucky smiled. "Bye!" He skipped all the way home.

Bucky burst into the condo. _ **"YO STEVE! HAVE YOU FOUND A JOB YET?!"** _ No reply. "Steve?" Bucky frowned. Steve was usually home before him. "Huh. Maybe he's with Tony." So Bucky called.

"Hello?" Tony said in a bored voice.

"Hello, Tony! I'm looking for my friend Steve Rogers. Tall guy, blonde hair, big body build, might be wearing Captain America clothing-"

"I know what he looks like!" Tony snapped. "No I have not seen him. Maybe it's because I kicked him out of Avengers Tower. Now don't call again. Good bye." Tony hung up.

Bucky scowled. "How rude!" He muttered. He made himself a meatball sub and turned on the computer. "I wonder when Steve's going to upgrade this computer from a G5," Bucky said out loud. "Better yet, how did he even get this model?"

Bucky ordered the parts for his boss. Then he wondered what he should do. Then an evil smile crept onto Bucky's face. He would prank the old man! He texted Steve.

 _ **Bucky:** Where ru_

 _ **Steve:** I'm at the supermarket. Need anything?_

 _ **Bucky:** No. I'm just bored. Come home_

 _ **Steve:** Okay see you in 10_

 _ **Bucky** : k cya :)_

Bucky gave an evil laugh. He scavenged the kitchen until he found some red food dye. Then Bucky grabbed red paint as well. He decorated the kitchen with the dye and paint until it looked like a murder scene. Then Bucky popped out his metal arm. He coated the socket with the food dye/paint. He splattered dye on the the sharpest kitchen knife he could find. Lastly he set up a camera. Then he waited.

It wasn't long before Bucky heard Steve's motorcycle pull up in the driveway. Bucky took a few deep breaths as he started the camera before laying on the floor near his arm and closing his eyes.

Steve entered shouting "Oh Bucky! I'm home!" There was a pause. Then "Bucky you aren't trying to avoid helping me put away groceries are you?" When he didn't get an answer Steve grumbled and went to the kitchen. "OH MY GOD!" Steve screamed. "BUCKY!"

Bucky wanted to laugh. But he managed to keep a straight face. Steve ran over to him and shook him. "Bucky! Are you awake? Bucky!" Bucky heard Steve get up. Then he realized Steve was calling 911. He opened his eyes.

Sure enough Steve was on the phone. "Yo, Steve, I'm okay!" Bucky called.

"Oh thank goodness I…wait, how are you alive?"

"I faked it. There's not need to call the emergency people."

Steve frowned. "I'm not calling the emergency people." He turned the phone onto speaker. Steve's own voice could be heard from the other side. _**"JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES! HOW DARE YOU DO SUCH A MEAN PRANK! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT RED DYE COST! YOU FUCKTARD BASTARD! YOU DO THAT ONE MORE TIME AND I'M PHYSICALLY PULLING YOUR STUPID METAL ARM OUT OF YOU! YOU ARE GROUNDED, OLD MAN!"**_

Bucky blinked. "I'm not that old…"

"You're 99. That's old enough." Steve put the phone back. Then he burst into laughter. "This is great! Gotcha!"

"How did you know I was going to prank you?"

Steve smiled. "Bucky, I always knew you were going to pretend you were dead one time. So I had help from Natalia and set up a recording of me screaming into the phone. That way, all I need to do is press three buttons that make it sound like I'm calling the emergency people and it would activate the recording."

"But what if I was really dead?"

"Paint and dye don't really cut it."

Bucky sighed. Then another evil smile appeared. "Alright you got me. And I think you deserve this." Bucky mentally controlled his metal arm to slap Steve in the butt.

 _ **"OWWWWW!"**_

Bucky skipped away laughing. Steve grabbed the frying pan and chased Bucky outside. Bucky flipped onto his motorcycle and drove away. Steve copied, the frying pan still in hand.

They zipped down down the city streets. Bucky taunted Steve, who couldn't catch up. "Your cycle is too old to keep up!" Bucky laughed.

"You're going to regret saying that!" Steve roared. He threw the frying pan. Bucky ducked and it hit a pigeon. "Great job, Bucky! You made me hit a pigeon!"

"Or you're just a horrible aimer," Bucky remarked.

Suddenly they heard sirens. Steve and Bucky glanced back to see two police cars chasing them. Steve slowed down but Bucky sped up. He wasn't going to get caught by the police! Suddenly he was yanked off his motorcycle. Bucky looked up to see Falcon carrying him right back to the police. Falcon dropped him right next to Steve.

One of the police men stepped forwards (oh wait, it was a woman). "Show me your licenses," she demanded. Both Steve and Bucky pulled their licenses out. She looked at them, her eyes knitted in confusion. Then she handed Bucky his. "Aren't you a little too old to drive?"

"Looks can be deceiving," Bucky replied. "But yes, I probably am."

"You should be tested to make sure you can still drive." Then she glared at Steve. "And your license expired 1943! You're coming with me and we're going to have a nice long talk about this."

"It's not my fault the license expired while I was frozen!" Steve screamed.

"He should also be charged for harassing wildlife with a frying pan," added Falcon.

Bucky watched as the police officer cuffed Steve and dragged him into the police car. He watched as the car drove away. Then he turned to Falcon. "So…how much will I be paying to bail him out of jail?"

"He's not in jail."

"He might end up in jail."

"Probably somewhere around 30,000 buckies."

Bucky groaned. "Guess I'll be working extra hours again."

* * *

 _ **In New Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow, Torunn is a thing.**_

 _ **Please review!**_


	21. Crossovers and a Turnip

_**Okay so I finally got around to posting this chapter even though I wrote it two weeks ago. And I have no idea how this story will go in the future. I think I might put it on pause in two months because I'll be busy with the next 25 Days of Christmas story. Hehehehe...**_

 _ **I don't own Marvel or its partnerships.**_

 ** _Oh yeah, slight Captain America: Civil War spoiler._**

* * *

 **XXI. Crossovers and a Turnip**

Bucky was in a town. He didn't remember the name of it so he called it "a town." He was by a fruit stand looking at the plums they had. They looked super juicy! He licked his lips and picked one up with his robotic hand.

 **SQUISH!** The plum burst open in his hand. "Stupid metal hand!" Bucky scowled. He picked another plum with his good hand. This time the plum didn't squish.

The stand tender was getting bored. "First you wanted a banana and squashed them all with that hand of yours, then you wanted an apple and crushed all of those, then you wanted the pears which didn't stand a chance, next you went to the peaches and burst then open and now you're doing the same thing to my plums! I might have to report you for harassing my fruit!"

"But I'm not," Bucky said. "If fruit can't feel us eat it then it can't be harassed."

"That's not the point!" The woman yelled.

"I'll take the plum." Bucky handed the money for the plum to her.

"Fifty," she corrected.

"I'm pretty sure that sign says two." Bucky pointed to the sign, which actually said $1.67.

The woman slapped the table. "God dammit, you Americans! You're giving me $50 because I need to harvest all that fruit again! The least you could do is give me a head start!"

"Do you take debut?" Bucky asked.

 _ **"GET OUT!"** _ The woman kicked Bucky across the street.

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Sheesh! You'd think she'd be a little more understanding to us Americans." He stalked off and went home to binge watch Phineas and Ferb.

Suddenly an idea struck him. "I will write a fanfiction!" He shouted. He shut the TV off and signed on to the computer. Now what?

Bucky thought of all the possibilities he could write about. Something to do with Steve and him? Yeah, that sounded good. Maybe he could add some swordspeople in like Deadpool and Sif. Or he should do one about the Avengers!

He was so busy thinking that he didn't realize how late it got until he heard something on the roof. Bucky went out and climbed up the side. It was dark out and he couldn't see very well. He saw two cloaked figures on the roof. 'Someone's trying to break in!' He thought. 'Where's Steve?!' Bucky snuck back inside, shut the lights off and grabbed a gun. He leapt on to the roof and chased the cloaked figures.

Bucky saw them shimmying down the chimney. So he went after them through the window. Immediately he pointed his gun at the figures and shouted "FREEZE!"

The two figures froze. It was too dark for Bucky to make out their faces. Suddenly one whipped around and threw a weapon at him. Bucky grabbed it with his metal arm. "Try that again and you're… HOLY LONGING, RUSTED, SEVENTEEN, DAYBREAK, FURNACE, NINE, BENIGN, HOMECOMING, ONE, FREIGHT CAR IS THIS A BATARANG!?" Bucky flipped on the lights and saw Batman and Robin across the room. "Whaaaat!? No way! This is not happening right now!"

"Actually I'm pretty sure it is," said Robin.

Bucky laughed. He turned on all the lights and heated up a big pot of spaghetti Steve made before he left this morning. "Sit down! Oh boy, do I have some things to talk about with you guys!"

Batman and Robin muttered some things between each other. "We don't have much time. We have to catch the Joker and Harley Quinn. They're running around New York City causing mischief with another unknown villain."

"Well maybe I'll know the other villain. Show me a picture!" Robin did. It was a man about as tall as Bucky. He had a robotic leg and thick black hair that was tied into a ponytail. "Oh! Oh! John Turnip! The Summer Troop! He and I were best buddies when I was the Winter Soldier."

"You're going to have to back up and say that again," said Robin.

Before Bucky could start speaking Steve entered. "Bucky! I'm home-HOLY AMERICA! WHAT ARE THOSE TWO DOING IN OUR HOUSE!?"

"Well they were looking for a former friend of mine because he paired up with some guys from their world. So I invited them to stay for dinner. They haven't said yes or no yet."

Steve face palmed. "Bucky. You are sometimes the dumbest person ever. We can't have DC people in the Marvel universe!"

"But Steeeevvveeee!"

"No!"

"But we could be doing both of our worlds a favor if you let them stay in or work for a bit!" Bucky complained.

"He has a point," said Robin. "Batman and I will get the Joker and Harley and you guys can get the Turnip."

Steve stared at Bucky. "Did you go back to the bar?"

"Nope." Bucky reexplained the whole Summer Troop thing. "Turnip and I were great friends! Too bad he ended up on A.I.M somehow. I think HYDRA sold him to A.I.M but I don't really remember."

"Can we get to the crime fighting part yet?" Asked Robin. "We can give you the details for the Joker and Harley and you can give us details about Turnip."

Bucky shrugged. "We probably don't need to. I mean, Batman is the world's greatest detective."

Steve frowned. "I thought you said you were the world's greatest detective."

"That was until I couldn't solve the mystery of the missing cookie jar."

"Joker, Harley and Turnip are probably doing more damage as we speak. We should get going," said Batman. He and Robin ran out and jumped on their motorcycles. Bucky and Steve got onto Bucky's motorcycle.

They drive through the town. "Why is Captain America riding on the same motorcycle as you?" Asked Robin.

"Captain America needs to renew his license," Steve said. "Why is a fifteen year old driving a motorcycle?"

"For the record, I'm not fifteen. I'm sixteen."

"And underage."

Batman grumbled. "Will you two just shut up? We have a mission."

"What Batman said! Man I love this day!" Bucky laughed.

They arrived at the hideout of the Joker, Harley and Turnip. Batman began giving instructions to everyone. "Flag boy and Robin, you guys wait here. Metal arm and I are going to go ahead and scout the place. We'll call you when we're done. Stay low and quiet."

 _ **"DIE CLOWN!"**_ Bucky jumped through a window and tackled the Joker.

Steve sighed. "Scratch that plan. Looks like we're going by ear." He pulled his shield off his back and hopped inside, blocking Harley's large bat just before it hit Bucky. 

* * *

**_Was originally going to make Bucky write a fanfic but didn't have any ideas so I added Batman and Robin in. They're probably out of character and Robin is probably older than sixteen._**

 ** _Anyway, please review and I will try to update more often._**


	22. Zombies!

**_Happy Halloween! Here's a chapter to celebrate!_**

 ** _I don't own anything._**

 ** _Also, Civil War spoilers (kind of)._**

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 **XXII. Zombies!**

 _ **1956**_

John Turnip, aka the Summer Troop, and Bucky Barnes, aka the Winter Soldier, sat in a lounge. This was their last mission together before HYDRA sold the Summer Trooper to A.I.M. So he and the Winter Soldier were enjoying a few glasses of pineapple juice before they went on their mission.

The Summer Troop gulped down the last of his pineapple juice. With a satisfied sigh, he set the glass down and looked at his buddy. "You ready for some fun?"

"More than ready," the soldier replied. "We're going after Peggy Carter and Howard Stark of S.H.I.E.L.D aren't we?"

"You got that right!" The troop stood up. He grabbed his rifle and swung the strap over his head. Then he clicked his two pistols to his sides. "Let's do this!"

The two were loaded into a car with the three other enhanced soldiers that HYDRA somehow produced. There was the Winter Soldier, the Summer Troop, the Fall Guard, the Spring Scout and the Year Warlord ( 'HYDRA wasn't very creative with their names,' thought the Winter Soldier). For some reason, each enhanced soldier had a robotic part. The soldier had a robotic arm, the trooper had a mechanical leg, the guard had a metal jaw, the scout had an automated eye and the warlord's upper body was all hardware. Why they had mechanical body parts was a mystery to all of them.

The scout, the only girl of the five, loaded her guns and looked at the others. "Let's make this one count. Not like last time."

"Yeah, that last time was terrible," the guard said. "HYDRA lost so badly they didn't even bother to wipe our memories."

"Most of the time HYDRA doesn't wipe our memories of missions," the scout said. "And last time, I believe it was the soldier's fault we screwed up so badly,"

The soldier frowned. "Come on! I threw a grenade! How was I supposed to know that someone would throw it back!"

The warlord sighed. "Please. The fault was all of ours. The scout could have actually reported that they had bomb deflectors, the guard should have listened to the mission details before running into the base, the soldier shouldn't have thrown that grenade at a bomb deflector, and the troop could have been less gun happy!"

"Hey!" The soldier, troop and guard chorused.

"Like you didn't do anything wrong!" Snapped the scout. "You literally stood there at the tank and shouted orders. You didn't do anything!"

"What authority do you have to shout at someone who ranks higher than you?!" The warlord stood up, towering over the scout.

But she didn't back down. "If by anything, you should be the lowest rank! The Winter Soldier should be the highest, followed by the Supper Troop because they're the oldest!"

Before the warlord could respond a HYDRA coronal entered the back of the truck. "If you guys are done arguing, we're here. Get ready because it looks like S.H.I.E.L.D knew were we coming."

"Excellent," said the Summer Troop. "The Soldier and I will take the east side. Fall Guard, Year Warlord, take the right. Scout, you're not going in until we have them fully engaged. We want to try to sneak you by so you can shut down the base."

"Hey! You should be listening to my orders!" Yelled the Warlord.

The Soldier laughed. "Are you kidding? Start out with the troop's plan and then improvise. Easy peasy lemon squeezy."

"I'll never understand you enhanced people," muttered the coronal. "Let's move out!" The five soldiers jumped up and burst out of the truck. They ran down the hill towards the base.

* * *

 _ **2016**_

Bucky jumped out of the way just before Harley's large hammer slammed down where he had been standing. Robin came from behind him and knocked Harley over. "I don't think your friend remembers you very well," Robin called.

"Obvs," said Bucky. "Move to the left!" He tossed his pistol and knocked the laughing gas vile out of the Joker's hand. Robin caught it but the Joke jumped on top of him. The two got into a fight over the laughing gas vile.

Meanwhile Steve and Batman were arguing and fighting the Summer Troop. Right now they were both being fired at. Steve threw his shield but the trooper knocked of off course. Batman tossed a Batarang into the barrel of the pistol. The Summer Troop causally pulled it out and threw it at the back of Bucky's head. At the same time Harley threw a punch at Bucky's face. Bucky ducked and the Batarang smacked Harley in the face.

"Bucky is a better sidekick than Robin will ever be!" Steve hissed at Batman.

"And yet both of you revealed your true identities. What kind of hero does that?" Batman scowled. He dodged the troop's knife.

Steve grabbed the troop's wrist and knocked him to the ground. "Because I don't believe in hiding behind a mask to cover up who you really are."

"Duck!" Bucky yelled. Everyone ducked. "No! Look!" Bucky pointed upwards to a rubber duck hanging from the ceiling. He climbed up the wall and retrieved it. "Robin! Back up!" Robin did and Bucky threw the rubber duck. It hit the laughing gas and sprayed all over the Joke and Harley. The two flipped to the ground laughing hysterically (if that was actually possible for the Joker).

Steve gave a smug smile. "See? My sidekick knows how to use the most random objects."

"Still not better than mine," muttered Batman.

John Turnip realized he was outnumbered. So he shot out a grapple hook and jumped up to the next floor. Bucky, Steve, Batman and Robin copied. They chased the troop down various halls of the facility. "Where is he going?" Steve wondered out loud.

"Why do you think we're following him?" Batman asked.

"Maybe he's going to get ice cream!" Bucky squealed.

Robin blinked. "You're 100 years old and you think he's going to get ice cream?"

"I'm 99. And who knows. Turnip and I loved ice cream back in the day. We made it out of any ice and fruit we could get our hands on."

"How does that work?" Robin asked.

"Focus on the mission, guys!" Steve scolded. "Bucky, I will get you ice cream if we make it out of here alive."

"What makes you think we're going to make it out dead? The dead can't walk. Unless you're zombies." No one answered Bucky's question.

Turnip turned into a room. The four heroes followed but came to a dead stop when they saw… ZOMBIES! In the middle of the stationary zombie heard was Turnip. "Now I have you!" He laughed.

"Really?" Batman grumbled.

"You get used to it," Steve muttered back. "Bucky! No! Where are you going!?"

Bucky skipped up to a zombie. He reached out and tapped it's nose with his finger. "Boop!" The zombie hissed and Bucky screamed. He ran behind Steve. "Save me!"

"These zombies are recreations from every zombie movie or TV show ever!" John shouted. "By the way, what do you think of this Andrew Lincoln zombie?" He pointed to a zombie next to him. The zombie looked like it was about to fall over.

Bucky laughed. "Clever! But I have a better idea." He walked forwards towards the zombies despite Steve's protests. Even Batman and Robin were warning him. John had an evil smirk on his face. He laughed as a zombie growled and walked towards Bucky, a hungry look on it's face.

Suddenly Bucky tore off his metal arm and pulled out the wires inside. He pocketed them. Then he held his arm out towards the zombie. "Trick or treat!" Immediately the zombies scattered around the building and returned with all the candy they could find. Steve, John, Batman and Robin looked stunned. Meanwhile Bucky was delighted as his arm was filled up with candy.

Batman and Robin glanced at each other. "That's it. We're taking the Joker and Harley and going back to Gothem," said Batman. They turned around and left.

"You can't leave us!" Bucky shouted. "Look at all the candy I'm getting! This could be you!"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU ATTACK!" John roared. A few World War Z zombies surged forwards and chased John from the building.

"Hey! World War Z zombies!" Bucky laughed.

Steve sighed and found a toolbox. He dumped the tools and held the toolbox towards the zombies, who filled it immediately with candy. "Well Buck, I have to hand it to you. You always come up with the greatest ways to get out of the toughest situations."

Bucky looked at all the candy the zombies were still holding. He commanded the zombies to follow him and Steve. The thousands of zombies followed them, carrying all the candy back to the two super soldier's condo. "Best Halloween ever!" Bucky shouted.

* * *

 _ **If you didn't guess already, this chapter was a little rushed. I've been pretty busy so I haven't made much of an effort to work on this story. :( Bummer. Especially since I have so many good ideas.**_

 _ **If you have watched Civil War read below. Otherwise you will be spoiled...**_

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 ** _I heard some people were upset about the fact that there were extra winter soldiers in the movie versus the comics (I haven't read the comics though). However I was so excited. John Turnip has been hanging around in my OC file for a while and this was the perfect chance to use him (even if the winter soldiers ended up having different names than the ones I used). And yes, I know. There was six of them in the movie and no girl winter soldiers._**

 ** _Hope you enjoyed your day (or Halloween if you celebrate it!) Please review and/or suggest for future chapters._**


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